#south korea shows time and time again they can stand on their own

[blackfilmmakers]

Is "amerikkka" part of the African American Vernacular English? Is it appropriate for Marxists and other people to use it?

"Amerikkka" referring to the Ku Klux Klan has always been part of AAVE

We refer to this country as such because we always recognized it as a fascist country that has always been run by Klan members and defends each other while killing us. So if it goes down, it goes down

If siwolism and that circle wants to use our words, that ignorance is on them. English I can understand is forced onto everyone. Same with French and Spanish and Japanese and other colonist languages. AAVE or any particular African Vernacular? No. Black music and entertainment? No. No one forced yall to engage with all of that, so yall don't need it point blank

If you wish death to America, good. So do a lot of us. But you don't need to appropriate African American culture at that. There are plenty of Korean and nonblack activists that made their points clear w/o rapping or using AAVE. Which honestly makes the most sense given that we are all trying to connect with our culture w/o US influence

"But Black culture is so prevalent in Western culture" uh huh yeah funny how that always seems to be the case every part of the world. Just don't use it

Edit: You also don’t need to look at our revolutionary movements either

[jmdbjk]

He didn't have to apologize again. He doesn't have anything to apologize for.

We've seen other idols having to do this seemingly unnecessary and overcompensating "sincere" apology before for other behavior deemed "normal" like having a boyfriend. Those are REALLY unnecessary apologies in my opinion.

Anecdote: I don't claim to understand completely but I do know, coming from my Asian heritage standpoint, the "honor" thing is a REAL embedded thing. Throughout my life, my Asian mother would make remarks about her friends' adult children or their spouses being "not good" and I never really understood the implications until well into my own adulthood. The judgmentalism is very embedded in Asian culture, at least it is in Japanese and Korean culture. I always brushed it off as Mom being too judgmental over nothing. She grew up in Japan. I grew up in America. We are different that way.

I can't get around it. You can't get around it. It is what it is. Is it slowly evolving out of Asian culture? Perhaps. I don't know. As I said, I'm American with my own embedded American attitudes.

What we can't deny is what Yoongi did was illegal. Perhaps considered a misdemeanor in other countries and inconsequential but obviously not so in South Korea. Yoongi had no choice but to post that handwritten letter of atonement because that is what is expected of someone in his position.

There are a lot of other people Yoongi is associated with: all the people at his company, the members, their families, the Korean companies that sponsor BTS projects or collaborate with them, his colleagues he works with and their associates, friends that we don't even know about, his family, his parents, all of these people he has to account for. So he made this public apology AGAIN, in a "proper" way, with a proper "sincere" handwritten letter, to preserve those relationships for the public's sake, to show respect to them. In private, we can only hope that he is making his way through this with the full support and love from all these same people.

There are a series of things that need to happen for Yoongi to move forward. Unfortunately, this letter was one of them. We might see a final police report soon. Hopefully it confirms everything we already knew. Or it might say things differently which we may want to disagree with but it will be FINAL. And it will be another step in this closure process.

He won't have to apologize like this again. He might apologize to us, his fans, again, but not in this way. He will process this the way he needs to in order to move forward.

I know we do not agree with the statement "it is their culture" and that is valid. Agree to disagree. But at this point in time, this is what he had to do to move forward. I respect his decisions on the actions he takes. He is the one living this hell in person. No one has the right to tell him what he needs to do or not do.

Hopefully at another point in time in the future, other public figures and celebrities will not need to go through these steps to regain any "lost honor". As Namjoon said, in their country, as advanced as it is, accelerated industrial growth comes with its own shadows. Societal and cultural growth is much slower to change.

I am going to respect how the members of BTS behave now regarding the general media in their country. If Hobi's discharge plays out just like Jin's, then that is their decision and I will abide by it. If Hobi chooses to stand and salute outside the gates of the base and wave to the cameras, I will respect his decision to do so. He will not be forced to do it. He served his country proudly and well and he earned the right to be able to publicly enjoy the personal satisfaction of doing so. If he decides to forgo that, I respect that too.

I am not expecting any member to say anything publicly individually. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Perhaps Jin and Hobi will say something together. Maybe not. I will never insist that they do in order to prove their support to ME.

If Hobi and Jin never say anything about Yoongi's incident, I will be fine with it. It is not my place to dictate how he, Jin or any of the other members should behave in this matter. This is between them. We did our part. I respect whatever decisions they make in handling the general media going forward. They are the ones living there, not us.

Some I-Armys want to riot in the streets in front of the Hybe building to vent their anger or to show their love and support and when they don't see it forthcoming from K-army, there is more frustration. Some vehemently disagree with letting this unfold without burning everything to the ground.

All eyes are on us. It is more important to be measured and cautious at this point than reactive and emotional. You can agree to disagree. We all have that choice. But right now, its more important to think about how everything we do affects Yoongi as he works to preserve his own emotional stability, his own personal and working relationships and less important are what OUR desires are. Our only desire should be that he is healing, he is moving forward with the love and support from those he is closest to.

He has seen our love pouring forth on Weverse and charting the music. He KNOWS we are here. Keep it going there, those are our two most visible means of communicating directly with him.

I trust Yoongi and his team. Now more than ever, trust him to be doing the right things for himself.

We are getting through this hell, one painfully slow step at a time. All we can do is keep walking with him until we see the other side together.

Apobangpo.

[mint-yooxgi]

Written in the Stars - Yandere!Idol!Yeosang X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Soft Yandere AU & Idol AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor, Slow Burn

Pairing: Yeosang X Reader (ft. platonic Ateez ensemble)

Words: 11,875

Warnings: Slow burn. This story is going to be very self indulgent on my part, so please bear with the first few chapters. Jongho is an over excited fanboy. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, I decided to just say 'fuck it' and post it anyways! I got too excited and just had to share, so I really hope you all enjoy what I have planned. I have SO much already for this series, and like I said in the warning, it's definitely going to be quite self-indulgent on my part but it IS based off my own dream, so... anyways, as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I don’t do tag lists.

Mini Masterlist

A low exhale escapes you through your nose as you stand in line waiting to board the plane. Absentmindedly, your thumb brushes over the front of your passport, your boarding pass tucked neatly inside. 

Shifting your weight onto your opposite foot, you adjust the straps of your backpack slung over your shoulders. Despite your best efforts to pack light, the heaviness weighs you down, feeling the corner of your laptop harshly digging into your shoulder blade. Perhaps you should have packed a few more of your books into your checked luggage after all. 

It’s not every day that you get to move to South Korea for approximately a year or more, depending on how well writing your next book goes. The decision had been meticulously planned out, seeing as your publisher has arranged a fairly large book signing in the heart of Seoul a few weeks from now. 

To say you were pleasantly surprised to learn how well your books are doing in South Korea is an understatement. You were more than happy to agree to it, especially when you have also been personally invited to perform a new piece of writing at one of the many award shows this season. It seems the organizers really appreciate your way with words, and want you to compose a short poem of sorts to encompass the emotions and influence different types of art has around the world.

It seems as if you’ve become a somewhat popular international author within the country, and you are more than happy to attend any and all events they ask you to. Subsequently, the offers were too good to refuse, and you’ve always wanted to move to Seoul for a few years. At least now you have a good reason to stay.

It has taken you years to get to where you are now, but being a well established international author has truly been everything you could have ever asked for. Writing has always been your passion, and you’re just glad that you can share it with the world. With a little extra on the side, of course.

Slowly, the line begins to move in front of you, and you blink to regain your focus. It looks as if they’re finally boarding for zone two, and you honestly just can’t wait to get settled in your seat and sleep. You’re hoping to at least catch a few hours before you attempt to work on a bit of your next book. The idea you’ve been mapping out is a big one, and you’re hoping the words flow just as easily for this one as all of the previous novels you’ve written.

The length of the flight has yet to be determined if it’s your enemy or ally.

Maybe you’ll just watch a few movies instead…

As more and more people advance, you can feel those familiar jitters of excitement coursing through your veins. Every time you visit another place, but especially when it relates to your writing, you cannot hide your eagerness. The adventures you can have are endless, and you honestly cannot wait to see a few of your friends again. Some, you’ll even be meeting for the first time. Well, if their schedules allow.

When you had arrived at the airport, getting through security after checking in had been a little heinous. 

First of all, you had a few too many bags, but since you’ll be moving to a completely new country, you need almost all of your things to take with you. Plus, you don’t want your new home to be too empty. You’re just grateful your mother will be sending along a few care packages with some of your bulkier items, like your favourite blankets and a few of your trinkets once you’ve gotten settled in.

Then, came security.

There seemed to be a rumour floating around that some celebrity or something was supposed to be on this same exact flight. A few overheard hushed whispers, and you determined the celebrities to be some Korean pop group. Though, you doubt that’s the case. Despite not really paying attention to the other passengers, you haven’t exactly seen any idols around.

Needless to say, security took longer with all the fans trying to sneak through.

At least you still made it to the gate with plenty of time to spare. You even had some free moments to browse the airport bookstore, noticing a small display of your own books near the front table. The way the workers had stacked your newest release in a mini-pyramid of sorts still makes you smile. The fact that you signed a few of the copies had made the workers’ day, taking a few photos with one of the girls who happened to be a big fan of your work.

Looking back on it now, you cannot help but to grin to yourself as you begin to make your way onto the plane. The worker who scanned your ticket seemed to look on you in awe, brief understanding lighting up their eyes after handing you your passport back. They probably recognized your name, if anything. The fact that you nodded back to them in acknowledgment seemingly made their day.

Truly, this is a dream come true.

Stepping onto the plane, you’re quick to find your seat. You made sure to pick the window of the very last row in premium, as you’ve always enjoyed watching the scenery as you fly. Take off and landings are your favourite parts. Plus, with no one behind you, you can recline without worry or fear that you’re infringing on someone’s personal space.

Luckily, it doesn’t appear that your seat partner has arrived yet, and for that, you’re grateful. Honestly, you hope no one actually sits beside you just so you can have a bit more space to yourself. Plus, it’ll make you more comfortable if you decide to actually get some writing done on the plane. 

You’ve always had a sense of paranoia about writing around strangers, given how often people like to snoop. The last thing you want is to be writing some steamy scene, or something completely gruesome, and offend the person you’re sitting beside. Though, you mainly only get that feeling when writing on your laptop.

Sliding your overstuffed bag beneath the seat in front of you, you settle into your own. Your purse gets shoved to the side beside your feet as you unceremoniously kick your backpack as far beneath the seat as it will go.

The joys of premium economy: much needed leg room, and better seating. Though, you can just hear your publisher’s voice in the back of your head, chastising you for not buying business class.

You huff lightly to yourself as you click your seatbelt on. Like hell you’re going to pay something ridiculous, like four grand, in order to have your own private podlike seat. That’s way too much for a one way ticket, and besides, premium is just fine. You’ve been lucky enough to fly it before, anyways.

Settling fully into your seat, you pull out your phone. Unlocking the device, you shoot a quick text to your family letting them know that you’ve just boarded the plane and are waiting for take off.

Of course, they reply quickly, telling you to have a safe flight and that they’ll miss you greatly. Most of all, though, to have fun on your new adventures.

A soft smile paints your features as you tell them that you’ll message them once you land, and if there’s time, phone once you make it to your new apartment. As soon as you see their response in confirmation, you’re turning your phone on airplane mode and grabbing your headphones out of your purse.

Movement from your left catches your attention, and you see a few people settling into the seats near you. You take a moment to assess your new seat buddy before turning back to your phone, plugging in your earbuds without another thought.

Looks like you’ll be sitting next to a guy for the entire flight. Not that you mind, but the last guy you sat beside on a long flight like this tried to talk your ear off about politics and how ‘kids these days don’t have the same respect they used to.’

The worst part? The man didn’t look that much older than you.

Oh well, it could have been worse. It could have also been like that one time you sat beside a lady who told you everything wrong with your first book, and what she would have done to fix it and make it better.

Holding your earbuds in one hand, you scroll through your playlist, searching for a song you want to listen to before putting them in.

From beside you, you can hear some hushed whispering in Korean, each voice distinctly male. The words ‘writer’ and ‘newest book’ catch your attention in-between the bustle of the other passengers boarding the plane, and you nearly let out a sigh.

Just as you go to place your buds in your ears, you hear a gentle voice pull you out of your thoughts.

“Excuse me?” The words are low, cautious, as if he’s unsure of himself. Surprisingly, they’re in English.

Lifting your head, you shift your gaze to the side. The way your eyes blink in mild surprise, caught immediately off guard by who you see sitting beside you, is apparent. Ever so slightly, your breath hitches in your throat.

“Are you…�� he trails off, brow furrowing as if he’s searching for the right word in English.

Out of the corner of your vision, you see a face peering out across the aisle from the row in front of you. His hands grip the seat firmly as he angles his body towards both you and the male beside you. Though, from the way his face keeps being blocked by more passengers boarding the plane, what he attempts to whisper to his friend goes unnoticed. At least, by the unsuspecting male. However, at the way you can hear the word ‘author’ lightly cut through the crowd, you grin softly.

“It’s alright, I can speak Korean.” You reply casually.

The way you see the male visibly freeze in his spot, body seemingly relaxing immediately after has you chuckling slightly.

“You do?” The surprise is clear on his features, but he’s quick to hide it in the next second.

“Not very well, but sufficiently enough.” You say. “My Japanese is better.”

You can see the way his brow twitches slightly in acknowledgement, that same look of surprise shining within his gaze.

“Anyways, my friend would like to know if you’re actually the author that wrote this book.” He says, lifting the object slightly in his hand.

An object of which you didn’t even notice before, too wrapped up in your own little world.

Sparing a glance at the book, a soft smile graces your features. For there, resting in his hands, resides a copy of your latest novel from the airport bookstore.

“I am.” You confirm with a small nod.

The male turns back to his left, seemingly having a silent conversation with his friend across the aisle. From his body language alone, you can tell that your seat buddy is slightly exasperated. Especially when his friend looks about ready to lunge across the aisle after the one sitting beside you asks him very lowly if he has to.

The announcement for final boarding call is heard over the speakers, the cabin crew now moving to secure the plane for take off.

You can only quirk a brow in amusement as your seat buddy heaves a tremendous sigh before turning back to face you.

That’s when you notice two more heads popping up over the seats in the middle section, one row in front of you. One sports bright, flaming red locks, while the other has a head full of black hair. They not so subtly peer over the back of their seats, looking in your direction as the one sitting right next to the aisle with bleached locks still has his eyes locked on you.

“I’m so sorry to do this to you; you probably get this a lot,” he sighs, and you can literally feel the death glare the male directly across the aisle from him is sending his way. “But do you think you could sign this for him?”

The plane begins to move. Briefly, you hear a flight attendant tell the three males in the row in front of you that they need to sit properly in order to prepare for take off.

Your brow quirks. “I thought I already did.”

This causes the male across the aisle to practically fall out of his seat as he reaches across to tear the book out of your seat buddy’s hands. You notice that he practically shreds through the front page in order to flip through to where your signature practically shines back up at him.

You notice a vibrant red beginning to creep up his neck as you chuckle lightly.

“I can still add a personalize message, if you’d like?” You lean forward slightly, looking directly past the male sitting beside you.

The way you visibly see the male perk up, practically throwing the book back at the one sitting beside you has a large grin pulling at your features. You can feel your own face heating from this interaction, heart pounding in your chest.

“Flight crew, prepare for take off.” The captains voice is heard over the intercom, and you realize you missed the entire safety demonstration. Not that you haven’t seen it all before.

“That would be great,” the male sitting beside you says, seeing as the other one seems too excited to speak for the moment. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you smile, reaching down to grab a pen from your bag.

“Excuse me, Miss,” the soft voice of a flight attendant draws your attention to the aisle beside you. “Please remain in an upright position until the plane has left the tarmac.”

“Right, sorry,” you smile sheepishly, a nod to your head.

Turning back to the males beside you once the flight attendant walks away, you pat the cover lightly.

“I’ll sign this as soon as we’re in the air, okay?”Your voice is sweet, holding the book lightly in your lap.

“Thanks again,” the male beside you nods.

“Of course,” you repeat. “It’s not everyday an idol from one of your favourite groups asks you to sign something for them.”

Four heads whip in your direction: the male sitting beside you, the two directly across the aisle from you, and the one who had been turning around to face you one row up. The surprise is clear on their features, and you’d bet anything that the two you saw peeking over their seats earlier would be doing the exact same thing once again if they could.

“You know who we are?” The one from directly across the aisle sounds completely awestruck. “You know who I am?”

“Yes, I do,” you nod gently in his direction, a small grin tugging at your lips. “Choi Jongho from Ateez.”

You swear that this man is about to faint from how red his face goes.

“Right now, though, you’re all just some guys on a plane,” you say. “And we all just so happen to be heading to the same destination.”

A slight whine from the row in front of them draws your attention.

“Joong, tell Yunho to stop kicking the back of my seat!” With the familiar intonation, you can just tell that it’s Wooyoung.

“Well, then stop hopping around.” Said male turns briefly towards his opposite side before turning back to continue observing this interaction between you and the other members.

You huff out a laugh, feeling as the plane begins to accelerate for take off. A moment later, and that familiar sense of weightlessness takes over, signifying you’ve left the ground.

“So, you’re a fan, then.” A statement, rather than a question comes from the man sitting beside you.

“For my part,” you hum, a tender smile pulling at your lips. “I saw you guys in concert a few years ago when you came to my city. You’re all incredible performers.”

You notice all four of them that are still looking at you become a little bashful at your words. Mutters of gratitude escape their lips as they bow their heads in your direction, and you are once again reminded of just how humble this group is.

“Then, you know who all of us are.” Again, another statement leaves the male beside you as he observes you with curious eyes.

“I do indeed know who you are, Kang Yeosang of Ateez.” You repeat your little phrase from earlier. A moment later, you shrug. “It’s like I said, though, right now you’re just some guy.”

A ding sounds, indicating the seatbelt sign going off once you’ve reached altitude. As soon as you hear it, realization flashes across your features, and you lean forward to grab a pen out of your bag.

“So, did you want me to address this to you, or is there a specific nickname you’d like me to use?”You direct your question towards the youngest member sitting across the aisle from you.

“Uh…” Jongho blinks, shifting forward slightly as he undoes his seatbelt. “Nickname?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “Sometimes people like me signing a term of endearment from one of my books in front of their name, or even instead of their name. I can do that, or something else. Just nothing weird, like ‘Daddy’, or anything like that.”

A head pops up over the seat in front of you. “Someone’s asked you to sign a book for them addressed to ‘Daddy’?”

“Oh, hello, Song Mingi from Ateez.” You blink in mild surprise.

“Hello.” A subtle nod and an immediate look of meekness crosses his features. Almost as if he couldn’t help but pop up and join in on this conversation with you.

“I thought we were all just some guys to you right now?” Yunho quirks a brow at you from down the row.

“Listen, this is the only way I know how to-“ you search for the right word, looking up at the ceiling of the cabin all the while. A slight tilt of your head in realization is the only sign they get that you’ve thought of the word, “dispel my excitement for the moment. I’m pretty sure my heart is about to burst from how furiously it’s racing right now.”

You see Seonghwa poke his head around the edge of his seat to look at you. Only, you see him flinch in the next second, slowly shifting so he’s now peering over the top of his seat just as Mingi does.

Looks like Hongjoong didn’t like the fact that his sight was being blocked.

“I think the feeling is mutual,” at the way you see Yeosang motion towards Jongho with his head, you crack a grin.

“So,” you catch the last dregs of the glare Jongho sends Yeosang’s way before the youngest is meeting your gaze once more. “Nickname?”

Knowing grins tug at a few of the male’s faces around you, Yunho nudging Jongho teasingly in his side.

Again, the youngest shoots a pointed look at the male on his opposite side before turning to look at you. Red begins to creep up his neck as he averts his gaze to the floor before continuously flicking it up to meet your own.

“I’ve always liked ‘Darling’,” he admits, and you notice how Yunho nudges him teasingly while more of the guys shoot him knowing grins.

This time, it’s your turn for your cheeks to heat as you hum. “How fitting.”

Flipping open to the page with your signature, you twirl the pen in your fingers once. A moment later, and you’re scribbling out a message.

To My Darling Jongho,

The stars look up to you. Keep shining!

Signing it off with a ‘Your Fan’, you’re quick to add your name. However, before you hand it back to him, you add a little note at the bottom.

P.S. You have a lovely voice.

Adding a small smiley face, you’re quick to cap your pen and shut the front cover.

The moment you hand the book to Yeosang to pass back to Jongho, you notice a few of the other members sliding back into their seats. The youngest eagerly snatches the book back from the elder, opening to the page with your signature on it without a second of hesitation. The way you see him visibly shake in excitement, a large smile stretching onto his features warms your heart.

There’s a part of you that really wants to ask him about his favourite characters, and what he’s thought about your books, but you hold off for now. You wouldn’t exactly start a conversation with him otherwise, and you don’t want to bother him too much. Besides, he seems far too content to pull out the Korean translation of your previous book from his bag shortly afterwards.

Figuring he wants to read, you turn back to face the seat in front of you. Leaning down, you go to put your pen away, kicking your bag lightly back beneath the seat.

“Yeosang,” you hear a harsh whisper from your left. “Switch seats with me.”

A moment of silence where you notice the aforementioned male shoot a disinterested look towards Jongho. 

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Jongho practically seethes, a frown tugging at his features. “I swear to god, Yeosang, I will split you in half like an apple.”

“Yes, I’m sure your favourite author would love to sit beside a man who just threatened to snap me like a twig.” Yeosang deadpans, reclining his seat back as far as it will go.

You’re about to make a comment on the situation, torn between jokingly saying that that’s actually kind of hot, or telling them that you don’t mind at all, when a voice draws your attention from in front of you.

“So,” it’s Seonghwa, peeking over the top of his seat once more. His hands grip the headrest, and you cannot see his mouth, but the way his wide eyes shine as they look towards you nearly makes you swoon. “Who’s your bias?”

You notice that this catches all of the member’s attention, and you suddenly sink back into the seat you’re in. That is, until you quirk your brow, a teasing grin causing the corners of your lips to twitch upwards.

“My ult?” You tilt your head. “I think I’m very explicit about it being Lee Taemin.”

You can visibly see the way his shoulders deflate at your words, and you briefly look around at all of the males that now seem to be peering at you from over their seats.

“No,” Seonghwa practically whines. “Of the group!”

“Which group?” The expression you wear is nothing short of amused as you see Seonghwa begin to pout before you.

If someone had told you that you’d be making the Park Seonghwa from Ateez pout because you wouldn’t tell him your bias from his group, you would have laughed in their face. Even more so when you notice Hongjoong staring at you with a mildly pointed look in your direction. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear that he’s almost daring you to say that it’s anyone else but him.

“Our group, of course!” He frowns, leaning the slightest bit forward to rest his chin on top of his hands as he watches you carefully.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice San lean into Wooyoung from a row ahead.

“Has she answered her bias yet?” The male not so subtly whispers to the younger.

“Shh, not yet.” Wooyoung hisses back. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

“Who’s your bias in Ateez?” Mingi is the one to ask you this time, and you shift your attention to him for the moment.

Again, your cheeks flare with heat.

“Now, isn’t that the million dollar question?” You breathe, letting out a chuckle as you grab your phone in your hand once more. “Nah, sorry boys. If you want that answer out of me, you at least have to buy me a drink first.”

“Is your bias your lockscreen?” Jongho asks, an eager gleam in his eyes as the males closest to you now divert their gazes to your phone held in your hand.

“My lockscreen definitely takes priority,” you grin knowingly, and you watch them all eagerly lean in to catch a glimpse of the photo. “Since I won’t have wifi for such a long time, I always change it to a list of things I should probably get done on the plane."

Clicking the side button reveals said list on your screen.

A collective sigh of defeat is heard from the males around you as you chuckle. Only, in the next moment, your brow furrows.

“Wait, how do you know I usually keep one of my biases as my lockscreen?” You turn towards Jongho.

“Lucky guess?” He shrugs, another blush creeping up his neck.

“He started screaming about it during one of your lives once someone translated your remark.” Yeosang casually states, shifting slightly in his seat to get more comfortable as he settles in for a nap.

You swear that were it not for the way another passenger walks by to use the restroom, Jongho would have lunged at the male sitting beside you.

Still, you cannot help the way your eyes shine in awe. “You watch my lives?”

Jongho avoids your gaze, fumbling over his words for the moment. His hands nervously toy with the pages of the book in his lap, and you nearly coo at how bashful he suddenly looks.

“When he can.” Yunho supplies for him with a soft smile. “Sometimes Hongjoong and I watch, too. It helps when Joong can translate some of the things you say.”

Your heart skips a beat in your chest at the implication, and you cannot keep the hopefulness out of your voice. “You guys have read my books, too?”

“Even if it weren’t for Jongho ranting and raving over your writing, our other friends are pretty persistent.” Hongjoong replies, a soft smile pulling at his features. “You’re very popular back home.”

“Yeah, Changbin told me that Felix recommended him this book, so he just had to tell me about it.” Wooyoung supplies.

“Members of Stray Kids have also read my novels?” You say, though with how lowly you whisper it, it’s more to yourself in awe.

“I know! I was surprised, since Bin will barely even look at books half the time,” Wooyoung laughs, eyes crinkling in joy.

“You’d be surprised by how many of us read your novels.” Yunho hums, settling back in his own seat for the moment.

“Wow,” you breathe. “Honestly, it’s something I always think about, but I still never expect it. The only idol I know for sure that reads my books is Mark Lee of NCT.”

“Oh, yeah, we didn’t hear the end of that for weeks,” San calls out over his chair, shooting a look towards Jongho.

“‘Why can’t we get personalized signed copies of her books?’” Wooyoung imitates the youngest, nearly getting shoved out of his chair in response.

“I’d send her a full on review along with our albums if she gave me a chance,” Hongjoong laughs, receiving a harsh kick from Jongho to the back of his seat.

“Remember the one time he said he’d serenade her?” Yunho supplies, a fond chuckle falling from his lips.

Jongho instantly wraps his one arm around Yunho’s throat, pulling the taller man into his side as the elder hunches over uncomfortably. “Want to die?”

You cannot help the way you laugh, eyes falling shut as you lean back in your seat. Your one hand rests over your chest as you catch your breath, blinking away your tears of joy shortly after. The scene is much too comical for you not to react, anyways.

The moment your vision clears, you notice Yeosang having turned to face you. He wears a somewhat neutral expression, but his eyes are soft, a hint of awe residing within.

You chalk it up to him just being tired.

“You really said you’d serenade me?” Your inquiry is tender, nothing but a sense of wonder pulling at your features as you lean forward to look his way.

Slowly, he releases the chokehold he has on Yunho, nodding lightly all the while.

“That’s honestly so sweet, oh my goodness,” your one hand comes up to cup the side of your face as you tilt your head to the side.

The way Jongho’s eyes begin to shine as he meets you gaze says it all.

A moment later, and your attention is being drawn to the male peering his head over his seat in front of you.

“You like anime, right?” Mingi has an eager look on his face, arms crossed over the back of his seat as he rests his chin on top of them.

“I do indeed!” You reply, an excited gleam sparking in your gaze.

“Uh-oh,” Hongjoong says. “This is going to take a while.”

“Shut up,” Mingi frowns, turning his suddenly harsh gaze towards Hongjoong for a moment before turning back to you with an eager grin. “Which one’s your favourite?”

“Definitely Jujutsu Kaisen, but Naruto will always hold a special place in my heart since I’ve loved it since childhood.” You reply. “Haikyuu will also forever be my comfort series.”

You see him nodding along to your every word.

“What about you?” You reply, blinking lightly up at him.

“I really love Demon Slayer,” he replies, a giddiness to his tone.

“Oh yeah, the animation for that series is beautiful,” you nod along to his words. “I also remember when Atiny’s went feral for your Rengoku hair. Now, that was a look.”

You swear the male nearly tumbles out of his seat as his lips part in awe. A subtle blush begins to tint his ears, as he smiles bashfully in your direction.

“Thank you,” his voice is soft. That is, until his sharp gaze is locking on the male sitting beside you. “Hey, Yeosang-“

Pointedly, the male turns away from you, pretending to be asleep.

“I don’t think any of us are going to get him to move any time soon,” Hongjoong chuckles. “Anyways, sorry for bothering you.”

“Not at all!” You shake your head, a kind smile tugging at your features. “Honestly, this has made my entire week.”

“Likewise,” Jongho breathes, and you turn your smile towards him.

“Oh, wait,” you lean forward, pulling out your backpack and riffling through it in the next minute. Once you have what you’re looking for in hand, your eyes are lighting up, pulling the item out of your bag quickly. “The translation isn’t due to drop for another month, but they sent me some early copies. I’d like you to have this one.”

Carefully, you reach over a somewhat asleep Yeosang to hand Jongho the book in your hands. You can see his own shaking as he grabs the novel from you, a look of complete awe on his features.

“Thank you,” he meets your gaze. “I’ve been waiting for this one to drop since you announced it. It’s why I bought the English version.”

“I do that, too, with a bunch of my manga. I think I have at least four copies of volume four of Jujutsu Kaisen just for the one panel alone.” You chuckle.

“Not the cover?” Mingi quirks a brow.

“Oh, god no.” Your face scrunches in distaste. “Kakashi two-point-oh is most definitely not a character I like. I’ll stick with the original, thank you very much.”

From beside you, you notice Yeosang’s shoulders start to shake with mild laughter.

“Anyways,” you chuckle. “That’s a topic for another day.”

The way you see Mingi visibly pout as he sinks back into his seat has the corner of your lips quirking upwards. A second later, and you’re turning your attention back to Jongho on your left.

“I hope you enjoy the book, it’s definitely darker than some of the other ones I’ve written.” You comment.

At this, you notice Hongjoong’s brow quirk. “Darker, you say?”

“Twisted, if you will.” You shrug a shoulder casually.

“Hey, Jongho, once you’re finished with that, let me borrow it.” Hongjoong turns to the aforementioned male who already seems to have begun reading your book.

Jongho’s eyes flash, protectively hugging the novel to his chest. “Get your own.”

The two males begin bickering over your book, and you notice how the other members have all settled back into their seats. You decide to get comfortable in your own, leaving the conversation at that for now as you put in your headphones. A moment later, and you’re putting on one of your softer playlists to help you fall asleep. It works, too, for in no time at all, you’re succumbing to the realm of dreams.

Of course, it doesn’t last too long, for the flight attendants come around offering drinks shortly after. The meals are served following that, and then finally, you’re able to sink back into the comfort of sleep once more.

A few hours later, you wake to more hushed whispers coming from your left. It sounds as if Jongho is attempting to convince Yeosang to switch seats with him once more, much to the elder’s annoyance.

“I said, ‘no’,” Yeosang grumbles, his arms crossed over his chest.

“But I want to ask her about her new novel,” Jongho whines.

“Ask her some other time,” Yeosang huffs out a breath. “She’s sleeping.”

Jongho leaves it at that, but when you crack open your eyes to assess the situation, you notice he’s already almost halfway through the book you’ve given him. A large pout rests on his features as he pointedly flips back to the page he had last been on, continuing to read without another word.

After about another hour where you fall in and out of sleep, you decide that you’re too restless for the moment to succumb to the land of dreams. Adjusting yourself in your seat, you make sure not to disturb the resting male beside you. Leaning forward, you shuffle a few things around as you grab a notebook and a pen from your bag.

Might as well get a little bit of writing done.

The lighting inside the plane is low, but you’ll make do. The last thing you want is to disturb the people around you, and besides, it’s not like you can’t see anything. It’s no different than all of those nights you used to spend when you were younger sitting in the dark staring at your laptop’s screen as you wrote until the first glimpses of the sun’s rays peeked through your windows.

Turning to a blank page, you let out a small sigh through your nose.

Now, where to begin?

Quirking a brow, you smirk to yourself, putting the pen to paper.

Before you know it, two hours have passed and you’ve written a fair amount for the opening of your new book. Sitting upright reveals just how stiff your neck has gotten, bringing a hand up to gently begin massaging at the muscles as you stretch it out lightly. A moment later, and a few satisfying pops can be heard as you crack it, and subsequently, your back.

The way you notice Yeosang spare a look at you out of the corner of his eyes has  you smiling sheepishly. “Sorry.”

You begin to close your notebook before a final idea strikes you, scribbling the little note to yourself for later. Once done, you tuck it away, pulling out your laptop shortly after.

A brief silence settles over you as you place your laptop onto the little tray you’re using. That is, until a soft voice from beside you draws your attention.

“You have nice handwriting.”

Your entire body freezes, turning to blink at the male in shock.

“Do you always write everything out before typing it?” Yeosang meets your gaze, a mild curiosity lingering in his tone.

Slowly, you shake your head. “Not usually. I just prefer writing things out like this when I’m in public. I always feel like my screen is a giant ‘Look Here’ sign when I use my laptop. That, and you were sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you with the light.”

“I thought I was ‘just some guy’ to you?” He quirks a brow, completely misinterpreting your words for the moment.

“You are.” You confirm. “I would extend the same curtesy towards anyone.”

“But not right now?” He quirks a brow, eyes briefly darting down to the way you open your laptop.

“You’re awake now, and I think I’ve earned myself a few episodes of Jujutsu Kaisen after actually getting some writing done.” You say. “Besides, my hand hurts from gripping the pen so tightly.”

“Oh?” The corner of his lips twitches upwards as he notices you stretching your writing hand out by curling and uncurling your fingers periodically.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Jongho nearly at the end of your book. His body is angled towards you, gaze flitting above the top of the pages every so often to check if you’ll notice him or not. At the way you smile tenderly his way, he’s quick to hide his face behind the pages once more.

“It’s a bad habit I have,” you shrug, setting up your screen with the first episode. “It’s one of the reasons I prefer typing. That, and both spellcheck, and the fact that I can type faster than I can handwrite.”

“I see.” He hums.

You blink, a subtle heat rising to your cheeks. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Not at all.” He smiles politely. “I asked, anyways. Think of it as the mere curiosities of a stranger.”

“Well then, stranger,” you grin slightly, a playful gleam to your eyes as you properly introduce yourself. “It’s nice to meet you.”

An amused grin tugs at the corner of his lips as he introduces himself to you, following along with your antics for the moment. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

“There,” you nod once, quite firmly at that, too, “Now we’re not strangers.”

“No,” he hums, “I suppose not.”

Turning back to your screen, you are more than content to leave the conversation at that. A moment later, and the familiar sight of the first episode of Jujutsu Kaisen pops up on your laptop, allowing yourself to connect your headphones before pressing play. You get about five minutes into the episode before you begin to feel eyes on you.

Shifting your gaze, you notice Yeosang glancing towards you, and then your screen every few seconds. Carefully, you shift your laptop in his direction so he can see the screen better, and you notice him stiffen slightly in his spot.

You chuckle lightly, silently offering him one of your earbuds.

You don’t even have to look at him to see the way he glances from that small item held in your hand, to your face and back a few times before accepting the offer wordlessly. A press of a few buttons and Korean subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.

You can see the shock clear on his face as he places the bud in his ear.

“What?” You laugh. “Expecting English?”

He blinks. “Yeah, actually.”

“I think I mentioned my Japanese being better than my Korean,” you hum.

“Your Korean sounds fine to me.” He comments.

A warmth blooms on your cheeks as you divert your gaze to the screen.

“Thank you,” nothing more than a mumble escapes you.

“Why? Do you think you’re not speaking well?” He asks, the anime playing on in the background.

“I used to be friends with a girl who always harped on me for my pronunciation, so it made speaking all the more difficult for me.” You admit softly. “Which is really ironic, when she always complained about people correcting her when she was younger.”

“Harped?” His brow furrows. “How so?”

“She would always make fun of the way I would say stuff,” your nose scrunches in distaste as you recall the memories. “I would learn something new, and the first words out of her mouth would be something like, ‘you really think it’s pronounced like that? You sound like a Koreaboo.’”

His eyebrows raise significantly, “Koreaboo?”

“Yeah,” you confirm, turning your head to meet his gaze only to realize just how close he is to you due to the fact that you’re sharing headphones. A warmth blooms once more on your cheeks. “Ironic, since she wasn’t even Korean to begin with, yet she was correcting my pronunciation.”

“Was she a language teacher?” His brow furrows.

“Not even,” you sigh, shaking your head lightly.

“She sounds like a bitch,” he comments, shifting his gaze to your screen.

You spare a glance at him out of the corner of your eyes. “She was.”

“Well, I think your pronunciation is really good,” he says, somewhat nonchalantly.

You wish you could prevent the way your eyes light up. “Really?”

A soft smile graces his features. “Really.”

“Thank you.” Shyly, you avert your gaze back to your laptop, shifting slightly in your seat.

He smiles kindly at you in response, turning back to the show as well.

About two minutes go by before he’s breaking it again.

“So, how come you have Korean subtitles to a Japanese anime?” He inquires, a hint of curiosity leaking through in his voice.

“Well, back to the language conversation,” you begin, “I had always wanted to learn more than one, but every time I went to study, my mind just wouldn’t retain the information. Except for Japanese. So, originally, I wanted to learn Korean first, but it just wasn’t working out well for me. Another fact she harped on me for: my memory. Anyways, I realized I could remember things better in Japanese, so once I learned that, I learnt Korean from Japanese.”

Yeosang hums, clearly impressed. “I see.”

“It was easier to pick up phrases and stuff with Korean subtitles to my favourite shows, so I made the switch,” you go on to say, tapping the edge of your laptop with your finger lightly. “I still use English subtitles if my brain gets too tired, though.”

“Makes sense,” he nods. “Do you watch dramas?”

“On occasion,” your tone is light, a small hum to your words. “I’m really bad at finishing a series though. I tend to start one, and then not touch it for years before going back to it. I still think I have a few episodes of Goblin left. Which is really ironic considering I referenced the reaper in one of my first published series.”

“You did?” He sounds quite surprised, but curious, nonetheless.

“I did.” You confirm with a chuckle. “I make reference to a lot of things I like in my stories. Music, movies, shows, characters, you name it.”

“What’s the thing you reference the most?” He asks, resting his elbow on the arm of his seat in order to lean his head in his hand.

“Probably The Lord of the Rings,” you chuckle. “I love that series.”

“I don’t think I’ve properly seen it.” He admits.

“Really?” You look at him skeptically. “Forgetting that you’re just some guy for a moment, but you literally have a song called The Ring where you make reference to it in the final lines.”

The somewhat sheepish shrug he gives you makes you laugh.

“Alright, fair enough,” you grin. “If you ever get a chance, you should watch it. The extended editions, though. There’s no other way to properly watch those films in my opinion. You get so much more out of them that way.”

“Oh, really?” He hums, amusement dancing in his eyes as he quirks a brow.

“Literal cinematic masterpieces.” You continue. “There’s so many cool behind the scenes facts and tidbits I could tell you, but I don’t want to subject you to that right now.”

“Why not?” His question clearly catches you by surprise.

“I don’t know if you’d be interested,” you shrug, blinking in the next second. “I do also have the movies saved on my laptop, but again, I won’t subject you to that. They’re long as hell, especially if you’ve never seen them before.”

“Ah, so binging them all at once isn’t a good idea.” He nods in understanding.

“Oh, no, you could totally do that, but it’s like, thirteen hours or so.” You say. “Definitely worth it if you make a day out of it, though, Watching them back to back really immerses you in the story.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, then.” He smiles. “They’re based on books, aren’t they?”

The way your eyes instantly light up does not go unnoticed by him.

“They are!” You reply enthusiastically. “They’re honestly one of my favourite series both in film and on paper, but I wouldn’t go around recommending people the book series.”

“Why’s that?” He inquires, tilting his head slightly in curiosity.

“They’re dry as fuck,” you say, and you notice his eyebrows raising in amusement at your description. “Listen, they’re not for everybody. Even I usually take years to get through the first book when I read the series. It’s a very tedious journey, but if you enjoy fantasy, they’re a key staple to read. In any language. At least, in my opinion.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles softly, and again, you can feel your whole body heating in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I tend to ramble about the things I really like.” You avert your gaze, fingers suddenly toying with one another in your lap.

“I don’t mind at all.” He’s quick to assure you, eyes crinkling gently in the corners.

A soft smile pulls at your lips as you keep your gaze fixed on your hands for the moment. You can still feel him looking at you for a few seconds longer before he diverts his gaze back to the screen.

The both of you sit in silence for a few minutes as the anime continues to play. By now, the second episode has started, and the corner of your lips quirks upwards as you watch the familiar interactions between the characters. You could probably recite both the original Japanese lines, and the English subtitles by now given how many times you’ve watched it.

A loud gasp from across the aisle draws your attention.

“Holy fuck!” It’s Jongho.

“What? What is it?” The somewhat panicked voice of Hongjoong reaches your ears as you see both him and Seonghwa leaning towards the youngest from the row ahead.

The younger male turns to you, his eyes wide and his lips parted in shock.

“You-“ he blinks, “I-“ he tightens his hold on the now completed book in his hands, “the twist!”

You grin. “I told you it was dark.”

“I just knew it. The way he was acting when he got back to the room was too suspicious.” Jongho mumbles, flipping through some of the pages to quickly reread certain lines. “It was there all along!”

“Some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten about writing is that plot twists shouldn’t catch you suddenly off guard. The best ones are hinted at throughout, and if the reader can pick up on them, you’re doing a good job of laying out the clues.” You chuckle fondly at how eager he listens to you. Even the others look on you in mild awe. “Granted, you don’t want it to be too obvious.”

“It definitely wasn’t,” Jongho shakes his head, as if to reassure you. “It was all paced perfectly.”

“Thank you,” a brilliant, albeit bashful smile takes over your features, and again, you feel Yeosang looking at you out of the corner of his eyes. “I’m glad to hear you liked it.”

“Liked it?” Jongho looks about ready to vibrate out of his seat from his excitement. “I loved it!”

Once more, you thank him lowly, that smile never leaving your features. A warmth blooms in your chest from his words, and the fact that you can see him immediately opening the book back to the first page to begin rereading it has a happiness unlike any other building within. The way Hongjoong starts to pester Jongho about letting him borrow the book has you wiggling your toes to expel some of your giddiness.

You’re just about to offer the leader of Ateez his own copy when a voice from your immediate left draws your attention.

“Who’s your favourite character?” Yeosang blinks once before turning his attention to you from the screen.

“Huh?” You blink back at him, clearly caught off guard by his inquiry. For a moment, you think he’s asking you about your favourite character from your new book.

“Of the show,” he jerks his chin in the direction of your laptop where you see episode two finishing up for the time being.

“Oh,” you tilt your head in acknowledgement, noticing a familiar male peering over the top of the seat in front of you once more. Your cheeks flare with heat. “Probably Sukuna, but Toji is a close second.”

At the way Yeosang quirks his brow at you, you’re quick to continue.

“Look, my taste in fictional men is questionable at best,” you comment, shifting slightly in your seat. “Don’t ask me why I have a thing for the psychopaths, but I do. Bonus points if they have red hair.”

You notice Hongjoong quirk a brow out in your direction of the corner of your eye, only for him to quickly turn to the male sitting to his left. A moment later, and he returns to his previous position, Wooyoung popping his head over the seat to grin smugly in your direction. You simply raise both eyebrows curiously.

“So, you like red hair?” The smug grin Wooyoung wears says it all.

“I enjoy the colour, yes, but it’s not my favourite.” You confirm, noticing how the male wiggles his brows suggestively at you. “The colour suits you very well, yes.”

“Good thing he’s not a psychopath,” Seonghwa mumbles.

“Debatable,” Hongjoong sighs, and you nearly laugh.

“Then, what are your favourite colours?” Yeosang inquires, blinking at you innocently.

“Hair wise?” At the nod you receive, you hum, thinking it over for a moment before answering. “For some reason, I definitely have an affinity towards bleached hair. I love the look of blond locks. Bonus points if it’s long and the roots are starting to grow in slightly. My absolute favourite is lavender, though. As much as I love Taemin’s blond hair, his lavender hair gets me every time. Jeonghan from Seventeen also had really nice lavender locks, and they were long, too. Oh, and special shout out to skunk dyes.”

The way they all stare at you has you immediately shrinking into your seat. Even more so when you see Wooyoung grinning at you like a maniac from a little ways away.

“Sorry, I’m rambling again.” You chuckle nervously. “Here I am talking to literal idols about this stuff when we’re not even friends.”

The boys all share a brief look with one another.

“We could be.” It’s Hongjoong that offers, the others nodding along softly in agreement.

To say his words catch you off guard would be an understatement, and you have just enough time to compose yourself so that you’re no longer staring at him, dumbfounded. 

A blink, and a soft smile pulls onto your features. “I’d like that very much.”

A phone is nearly flung at your face, were it not for the way Yeosang quickly catches it midair.

“Jongho, calm down!” Yeosang harshly whispers to the younger beside him, gaze sharp as he shoots a pointed glare towards the male.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Jongho looks absolutely mortified when you turn to look at him.

“It’s alright,” you chuckle. “Honestly, not the worst thing that has been thrown at me before.”

The way they all look at you in confusion at you has shrugging a shoulder casually.

“When I worked at a bookstore on the operations team, I can’t count the amount of things that either got thrown at me by accident, or fell on me.” You say casually. “Books are also much heavier than phones.”

“I would imagine,” Hongjoong chuckles along with you. “Do you have kaotalk?”

“I do,” you nod in confirmation. “Though, we might have to wait until we land to exchange information. No wifi and all.”

“Ah, right,” you see his head tilt in acknowledgement.

A small pout pulls onto Jongho’s features as Yeosang hands the youngest his phone back.

“Then, we’ll exchange information once we land.” Mingi grins widely, practically shaking in excitement in his seat.

“Sounds good to me.” You grin right back, heart racing inside of your chest.

If someone would have told you that you’d not only be on the same flight as Ateez, but befriending them on said flight, you would have told them to stop fantasizing. However, truly being in this situation feels so unreal, even as you watch them all settle back into their seats with smiles on their faces.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

Yeosang quirks a brow.

“For catching that.”

“No problem.” The corner of his lips twitches upwards.

“So,” you shoot a look at him out of the corner of your eyes, noticing how the anime has been continuing to play in the background this whole time. “Who’s your favourite character?”

“In this?” He motions to your screen with a jerk of his chin.

“Yeah.” You nod.

“Don’t know. I’ve never seen it before.” He replies casually, and your eyes nearly bulge right out of your head.

“You’ve never seen it before?” Your voice is full of disbelief as you look towards him once more. At the shake of his head, you’re quick to restart the third episode, muttering to yourself about talking over the show this whole time.

“It’s okay,” Yeosang chuckles. “I’m used to the chaos.”

You quirk a brow. “Are you, now?”

“Yes.” he deadpans, turning his head to shoot you a pained smile with a thumbs up in the next second. “I thrive in it."

You cannot help yourself. A loud, boisterous laugh escapes you, your eyes crinkling in joy. A fact which is only emphasized when Yeosang begins to chuckle along with you, only to steel his face and nod solemnly every time he notices you peering over at him.

The way he grins right along with you as you finally calm yourself down from laughing so hard says it all. Not even the way you can see Jongho flicking his gaze towards you from over his book, a clear pout on his features can pull you out of this moment right now.

For the rest of the plane ride, you either watch more episodes of Jujutsu Kaisen with Yeosang, or talk lowly with him. The conversations are somewhat short, but calm nonetheless. They mainly consist of one of you asking the other a simple question, and going from there. Truly, two strangers just passing the time and enjoying the other’s company, rather than sitting in silence.

At one point, you manage to fall asleep again, only to be woken up by the announcement that the plane is now beginning its decent into Seoul. The way you notice your laptop has gently been closed, your headphone wrapped up and sitting neatly on top of it makes you smile softly.

Stretching as much as you can, you move to put your laptop away. You keep your headphones out, just in case you want to listen to music for the last little bit of your journey. Then, once you’ve settled back into your seat, you turn your head to the side. 

Gazing out of the window, nothing but pure excitement shines within your eyes. It’s finally time, and as soon as you land, you feel as if everything will truly fall into place.

You can feel someone’s gaze on you every now and then. You figure it’s either Jongho watching you out of the corner of his eyes like you’ve noticed he likes to do, or Yeosang looking out of the window with you. Thus, you opt to sit back as far in your seat as you can, giving the male the perfect view to observe the ground getting closer and closer with each passing second. He’s probably missed his home more than you could ever imagine.

The moment the plane touches the ground, you cannot help the way your breath hitches in your throat. The small bounce of the wheels hitting the tarmac only serves to solidify to you that this is real. You’ve truly moved to Seoul for a year, and you have many adventures planned already to come. Starting with that award’s show, of course.

Turning your phone back on cellular for the moment, you’re quick to shoot a text to your family letting them know you’ve landed and arrived safely. It’s now early morning for them, so you’re not expecting a message back for at least another few hours. You also need to get a new data plan for the year you’ll be living in Seoul, so you add that to the mental list of things you need to do already forming in your head.

Five minutes later, and you’ve been taxied to the gate, the other passengers beginning to disembark. Honestly, you can’t wait to get off of this plane and stretch your legs. Your few trips to the bathroom did nothing to help. Besides, you can’t wait to get to your place and shower.

Holding your bags in your lap, you watch as Yeosang steps out into the aisle. Only, he pauses, motioning for you to go ahead of him.

“Ladies first.”

You smile politely, thanking him lowly as you step out of the row and begin to disembark the plane. You get about two steps onto the gate when Jongho steps in beside you, as if he was eager to follow you out.

“Holy shit, you are tall.” His awestruck voice reaches your ears.

An amused glance is sent his way out of the corner of your eyes.

“And the most common phrase said by males I meet goes to…” you huff out a laugh, seeing as he continues to scan you from head to toe, noticing how you stand a few inches taller than him.

A red hue begins to creep up his neck and onto the tips of his ears. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

“No, no,” you wave him off with another laugh. “It’s just funny when no one believes you are the height you say you are. Used to happen all the time when I tried dating apps.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho steps in on your other side, and you notice Yeosang walking beside him. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the shorter male looks slightly irritated. Though, from the way you notice him loop around to begin chasing Jongho, you know that the younger must have done something before exiting the plane.

“Well, where I come from, it’s really common for guys to add their heights to their profile. Which is really funny, when they are usually the ones that lie about it.” You explain, heading towards customs with the crowd from the flight for the moment. “So, I always found it funny when I would tell the people I matched with my height, or when they would ask about it, only to not believe me. Then, whenever we would meet, I would be significantly taller than Jeremy who proclaimed himself to be ‘six-foot three’.”

You see Yunho nod beside you, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Got even more prominent when I started doing signings and people would stand near me.” You comment. “Not to mention the guys that would need to ‘prove’ how tall I was whenever they would bring their books up to be signed. On the other hand, though, it’s really cute to see so many people get flustered by it. Female presenting people and non-binary people especially. Though, I will never forget the fans who always ask me to cosplay Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil Eight.”

“You’ve cosplayed Lady Dimitrescu?” Mingi attempts to hide his excitement with a clearing of his throat as he steps into the space once occupied by Jongho.

“I’ve thought about it,” you hum, stepping into the line to get through customs with him, Yunho, Yeosang, and Jongho right behind you. Looks like the others are a little ways ahead already. “Maybe one day I will.”

“I fully support whatever decision you choose to make.” Jongho nods, enthusiastically.

“Just say you want her to step on you and be done with it,” Yeosang sighs, crossing his arms over his chest.

The way the younger lunges for the elder has a laugh escaping you, especially when the two males start bickering and slapping each other’s sides.

“If you want me to step on you that badly, I have one condition,” you joke, stepping up to the front seeing as you’re the next person in line. At the way you seem to now have all four of their undivided attention on you now, you grin, feeling your cheeks beginning to heat. “Suffocate me with your thighs, first.”

Each male doesn’t even have time to respond before you’re being called over to the customs officer, but you definitely catch their stunned reactions. The way you see Jongho nearly fall over, his face turning bright red and looking like he might spontaneously combust has your shoulders shaking in laughter.

The other three aren’t fairing much better. Yeosang’s eyes look about ready to pop out of his head with how wide they’ve gone. Additionally, both Mingi’s and Yunho’s mouths part, subtle blushes of their own creeping to their cheeks before the eldest is clearing his throat. They don’t have much time to dwell on your comment, for they each get called up to their own customs officer to get through to baggage claim soon after.

Getting through customs doesn’t take too long, and before you know it, you’re standing in front of the terminal waiting for your bags to come through. You didn’t necessarily spot any of the other guys, but you haven’t really been looking out for them, either. That is, until you see a blur of red approaching you from the side.

Wooyoung hops right up beside you, stopping short as a look of complete shock crosses his features. “Woah.”

Sparing a glance out of the corner of your eyes, you notice his gaze scan your figure. He begins looking around the ground at your feet, as if to spot whatever it is you must be standing on to make you that much taller than he is. Once he finds none, his awestruck gaze is back on your face.

“Wooyoung, I thought I told you to wait for us,” Hongjoong’s exasperated voice reaches your ears.

Turning your head, you see all of the guys now walking towards you, a few of their staff in tow.

“I’m so sorry, has he been pestering you?” A male, whom you’re assuming is their manager, addresses you.

“Not at all,” you shake your head, a slight grin tugging at your features. “I think I might have broken him, though.”

At your words, all heads turn towards a stunned Wooyoung, his mouth gaping like a fish. He blinks a few times, a dopey grin tugging onto his features soon after as his face begins to turn as red as his hair.

“Wooyo, are you okay?” It’s San who asks, coming up to stand beside the male still blinking at you.

A second later and Wooyoung starts giggling like a maniac, “tall lady. Pretty, tall lady. Pretty and tall lady.”

“Okay, I think someone needs more sleep.” Yunho gently guides the muttering male away from you with the help of San.

“Sorry about him,” Hongjoong chuckles, stepping in beside you.

You notice Yeosang standing on your opposite side, not saying a word. Though, you can feel the way he glances towards you out of the corner of his eyes every now and then.

The terminal begins moving, signifying the start of baggage claim for your flight.

“Anyways, should we exchange Kaotalk’s now?” Hongjoong asks, his phone already held in his hand.

“Sure!” You reply, shifting to grab your phone out of your pocket. A few moments later and you’re holding your screen to him with your Kaotalk code on full display. “Here you go.”

The way his eyes light up has you smiling, and you notice the others all pulling out their own phones to add you as well.

“Feel free to message me anytime,” you smile, already feeling your phone vibrate in your hand with a new message.

However, before you can even check who has messaged you, a voice from your left catches your attention.

“Don’t forget about me.” Yeosang blinks up at you as you turn to face him.

You smile softly. “I could never forget about you.”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say you’ve just made him blush. The way he averts his gaze, focussing so intently on your phone to make sure he’s added you correctly only confirms your suspicion.

A piece of luggage on the conveyor belt catches your eye. Just as you move to place your phone into your back pocket and grab your bag, you notice Yeosang stop you.

“Which one is it?” He takes a few steps towards the terminal, not even waiting for you to respond.

“The silver one, but I can grab it-“ by the time the words have left your lips, he’s already hoisted your bag from the belt and placed it gently beside you. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

He smiles lightly. “I wanted to.”

You smile back. “I appreciate it.”

“Do you have any more?” He asks, eyes already scanning the moving luggage for similar ones to the bag he’s already grabbed for you.

“I have three, but I don’t expect you to-“

“Is this another?” He points to a larger silver hardshell case coming your way.

“Yes, but-“ again, before you can tell him not to worry about it, he’s lifting your luggage off of the conveyor and placing it gently beside your other one.

“Are the other two the same?” He asks, shifting his gaze towards you from over his shoulder.

“Same style, but red.” You blink, figuring you’re fighting a losing battle at this point if you keep telling him not to worry about it.

“Believe me, if I didn’t help you first, Jongho would have leapt across the room and done it himself,” Yeosang comments, pulling the first of your red bags off of the line for you.

The moment he wheels it over to you, you double check all of the labels, making sure these are indeed your bags.

“What about your bags?” You ask, noticing how he lifts your final bag off of the line in the next second.

“The staff usually handles them.” He shrugs, helping you wheel your bags over to a cart to help you start loading them onto it.

“Ah, so you wanted something to do.” You nod your understanding.

“Had to make sure all my muscles still work after a long flight like that.” He deadpans, the subtlest of quirks to his lips.

“Are you sure you didn’t just want to show off?” You quirk a brow teasingly.

“Depends,” he hums, shooting you a look out of the corner of his eyes as you both head towards the exit. “Were you impressed?”

You laugh, fake swooning in the next second. “My hero.”

Yeosang quirks a grin in response. “Fine then. Your bags were super heavy to lift, and I demand compensation.”

“I never forced you to lift them!” Your mouth falls open, a scandalized look crossing your features.

“I could have lifted them for you.” Jongho cuts in, seeing as they’ve all now caught up to you for the moment. “I would have been more than happy to.”

You chuckle, but you cannot help the way that you notice Yeosang fall silent as the younger inserts himself in between the both of you.

“It’s quite alright,” you smile softly. “Yeosang helped me just fine.”

“Do you have a ride to your accommodation?” It’s Seonghwa who asks, blinking at you with wide eyes.

“I do, thank you.” You nod. “My publisher sent some people to pick me up.”

You see a few of them nod back in understanding just as you reach the exit gate.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye for now.” Hongjoong turns to face you, stopping just off to the side to ensure they’re not blocking anyone’s path.

“You guys be careful out there,” you say, looking over all of them briefly. “I’ve seen some wild videos of how certain people can act towards all of you at the airport.”

“You, too.” Mingi sends a firm nod in your direction.

“Well, hopefully we’ll see you around!” Wooyoung grins, practically vibrating in his spot in excitement.

“Not to be ominous, but I have a feeling you will.” You smile knowingly. “Like I said, feel free to message me any time. Keep in touch if you can, and don’t be strangers.”

“We will,” Hongjoong smiles back, the corner of his own lips quirking knowingly as Jongho begins to pout beside him.

“I’ll see you guys around,” with a final wave, you’re grabbing your two luggage carts and steering them out of the exit.

You don’t even have to turn around to know that they follow you out a moment later. Given the way half of the crowd begins to bustle, practically swarming the opposite ramp as Ateez exits the terminal, you have a definitive answer. However, what you don’t expect is for a few people to be there for you.

“Miss, would you be willing to sign this for me? And could I possibly get a picture, too?” A girl asks, holding a copy of your first published book out to you.

“Of course,” you grin, having already given your luggage to the people you were supposed to be meeting at the airport that your publisher sent. Once you take the book and pen from her hands, you turn to face her. “Who should I make it out to?”

You’re so caught up in your own little world, completely awestruck by the fact that a small crowd had come to greet you at the airport, that you completely miss the feeling of eyes glancing back at you from across the way.

The last thing Yeosang sees before being ushered out to a waiting car is you signing some books and taking pictures with a few fans, a radiant smile lighting up your face.

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hi, there it's so great to find an amazing writer who enjoys Lookism so much! Please keep at it, your HC's are so much fun to read! If it's not too much to ask for the boys like Gun, Samuel, and Vasco with s/o who is a foreign girl, a very capable fighter, and honorable in combat but outside the fight she is quite self-conscious and a bit naive.

Not me reading the first part of this and thinking you're being sarcastic af lol

Thanks for being so kind anon :') I'm glad you're enjoying it, I have SO much fun writing them and putting my stupidity out! Thanks for the ask! I had a little difficulty writing it.... this really isn't very good but hope this hits the spot.

Lookism with non S. Korean S/O

You're from somewhere vague and overseas. Scenario with your partner (Gun, Samuel, Vasco, Jake)

Gun

Your boyfriend was asking you to fight yet again. You're getting pretty tired of it.

You only moved to South Korea not too long ago and ever since he discovered you picked up your skills from overseas, all he makes you do is fight him. And he doesn't go easy on you.

What happened to dates? What happened to romance?

You thought your boyfriend was growing colder towards you, now always in his own head or just studying martial arts.

"...Gun?"

He peers at you over the top of his sunglasses. Your words are hard to say aloud.

"Do you ... do you not want to be with me anymore?"

"What makes you think that?"

"All we do is fight... Literally! I can't remember the last time you even asked me for anything else."

He pulls you into his arms, "You're actually challenging me. Do you know how rare that is? I'm more turned on than ever."

Samuel

You transferred from overseas after helping source partners to help grow Workers into the behemoth it is today.

Back in your field days, there wasn't anything that couldn't be solved with some violence, but your morals and fairness made you stand out amongst would-be enemies.

Even with the 3rd and 4th Affiliate President as your boyfriend, no one could deny your competence or throw around accusation of nepotism.

But you still had to get your head around the working culture in this country.

"Sammy, do I really have to call you Mr. Seo in the office?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that a bit weird? People have seen us together."

"No, I'm your boss. You need to show respect and address me properly here."

"Oh... Do you actually not want anyone to know I'm your girlfriend?"

Samuel pinches the bridge of his nose, can't quite believing he's going to give in on this.

"Fine. You can call me Samuel,"

"What about-"

"Not Sam. Not Sammy. Samuel."

Vasco

You had agreed to meet in the park for a date with Vasco.

The first time you kissed him, he nearly jumped out of his skin claiming that wasn't how dating worked in South Korea. You found out later it was just his eccentricities.

Vasco texted you that he was running late when a group of guys start harassing you.

You threaten to call the police, but when they put their hands on you, you weren't left with many options.

"Y/N?!" Your boyfriend was staring at you in shock.

"No! Euntae, I didn't want you to see me like this!" you hide your bloodied fist from him.

"What! That was amazing!"

"Thank? you?"His compliment made you blush, you knew it wasn't what 'ladies' do but he liked it?

"Y/N! I thought people only had street fights in South Korea! Do they fight overseas too?"

Jake

You think this might be the first time Jake treated you to a meal. A job well done, he had said after you beat up some thugs who were harassing the girls.

Jake's often running off to god knows where to get god knows what done, leaving you to look after the street.

Is this the supposed Girlfriend Privileges? You having to fight in his stead? You reckon you're getting the short end of the stick.

You stare at the violently red pot of stew in front of you, with some unidentified vegetables floating around

"Jake...? What is this?"

"Oh! You've never tried many Korean dishes, right! It's kimchi stew, my favourite. Here." He spoons some into a bowl for you.

With your boyfriend's loving gaze on you, you had no choice but to take a sip.

"ACK!" you spit it out immediately and grab your glass of water to wash the vileness out of your mouth

Jake rolls his eyes at you, "You've got no taste" and takes his own mouthful.

"I know, I'm with you."

[smokends]

★⠀⠀ ⁄ ⠀⠀THORNS AND ALL ( EPISODE II: LET THERE BE LIGHT , set in 2025 ) ───── or: showing candid moments in the live of moth signals.

warnings / notes: depictions of mental illness, implied substance abuse, toxic relationships and past trauma, paranoia. let me know if i missed anything!

deurim greets him the same way every time.

she doesn't text him, but buzzes into the apartment and begs to be let in before she freezes to death. it's an extreme exaggeration but she knows it makes him chuckle each time. there is a moment of silence as she comes into the building and rides the elevator to his floor, leaving oliver to wait impatiently as he listens for the key to slide into the lock. he isn't sure why deurim refuses to enter any other way, but it still brings a fond smile to his lips as he stands at the kitchen island.

the new apartment is still a lot for the both of them—two people used to living in a small apartment with three other people to fill the rest of the space. oliver severely lacks the required decorations, according to deurim. so, each time she visits, deurim brings a new trinket for his apartment. this time, she brings a new extension cord after almost losing her mind over the state of his original one, the one he had bought upon moving to south korea all those years ago.

she leaves it on the table and immediately comes to fill oliver's space. she draws them together in a kiss and places one hand on his cheek while the other moves to his sweatshirt pocket, searching for something. he chooses to ignore the rattling of the pill bottle as she transfers it to her own jacket, choosing to bring her close and make deurim pay attention to him instead.

it's only a few moments later before she speaks, like always. "how was today?"

the worst part is that deurim is genuinely curious about his day. she loves seeing any drafts he may have produced, listen to some demos, and just hear about whatever oliver did that day. it's never anything special. most days are spent in silence. he stares at the wall and wonders what could have been. he gets lost in these alternate universes, trying to figure out where he went wrong and how to fix these mistakes years later. still, she likes to hear about this.

oliver shrugs and isn't sure what to say. this was another day spent in his mind rather than getting anything done, it felt like each time he blinked, another hour had passed and he had nothing to show for it. "it was fine. i didn't do much," he admits, looking just past her shoulder instead of her eyes. "i tried to write something, but it didn't—i don't know. i didn't get very far into it."

"that’s okay,” she replies, adding a shrug of her shoulders to reassure him it was fine. he didn’t need to force himself to write music, it would come to him in time as deurim always said. “you tried and that’s all that matters.”

he nods and tries to smile in reply, his way of letting it melt down and become important at another time, when he was worried about deadlines and people trying to rush him. he was allowed a few days to work and hopefully provide a result.

"what about you?" he asks, turning to look at her this time and tries to keep the eye contact for as long as he can. it's not very long, but deurim smiles anyway.

"i had a meeting with some of the shareholders," she answers with an eye roll. "i couldn't get a single word and pretended to take notes the entire time."

"always a winning tactic," oliver responds with a quiet chuckle.

deurim looks at him again, glancing between each of oliver’s features to make sure everything was in place. she doesn’t spare a single glance. it's then that he notices deurim's pupils, how they almost blend into the dark color of her irises, and suddenly, the lazy smile makes more sense. he knows how draining those meetings can be and isn't surprised to see deurim like this.

“anyway,” she drags the vowels out and locks her arms around his shoulder in a loose embrace, giving him enough space to back up if needed. (and sometimes it was needed. on the days where the sunrise fades into sunset and he's not sure if he's gotten out of bed yet. the days were touch was too much. the days he needs silence and isolation). "i want to show you something."

"do i get to know this time or is it a secret again?" he asks. her smile morphs into a grin and oliver knows his answer. "you're the worst."

deurim shakes her head with a laugh. "you like the surprises.”

they walk for a while.

neither of them were in the right mindset to drive and oliver didn't have a legal drivers license in south korea anyway. the dose he took prior to deurim's arrival had finally hit in full effect—his shoulders had lost most of their tension, a smile came easily to his face, and he didn't have a never ending internal monologue anymore. it was like everything that he hated about himself had changed or gone away, he was a better version of himself.

deurim holds his hand tightly and swings them leisurely between them. the whole scene felt like a movie. he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, however, and the night to be ruined. he kept glancing behind them, as if waiting for a rapid fan or something to run at them and beg for their attention. this isn't a new feeling. oliver always feels the eyes of someone else behind him, the quiet streets of seoul just make it impossible to ignore. during the day, he was able to blend into the crowd and listen to music to drown other people out. now, it was just oliver and deurim. deurim and oliver and the occasional person also walking or a car. no one ever stopped for too long, but the hair on the back of his neck always stood and he gripped deurim's hand just a bit tighter.

"i spoke with yeonghui today," deurim states randomly, trying to pass this off as a casual conversation instead of something that could easily ruin whatever good feeling they had right now. yeonghui was a sore subject for both of them, but for very different reasons.

he tries to act normally, hide the way he almost stumbles into his next step and his entire body feels raw, like he was put on stage completely alone and had to just sit under the spotlight in silence and watch the reactions of the audience.

"how did it go?" he asks through gritted teeth and an inability to let this feeling go. he checks behind them again, just in case.

she's quiet for a moment, pondering her next words as they continue to walk. the only sound comes from their steps hitting the ground and the their labored breaths from being outside for so long. "i think it went okay. i talked to her about my next album and she seemed to like my demos and the possibility of you featuring on one of the tracks. she didn't seem too upset but we both know she'd be more upset with you than me."

oliver nods and removes his hand from deurim's and takes a small step to the left. she was too close suddenly and he needed to put some space between them. he's expecting a phone call or text coming soon, something that made him feel guilty and worried about what yeonghui thought of him. oliver hates thinking like that, but, he's spent so many years like this that it comes naturally. he looks for her praise and preens under it or he's on the opposite end of her rage and he's scared that her hand will make contact with his face.

he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and tries to apply the strategies he's been working on with doctor cho. he can see the traffic lights, the closed fruit stand next to them, the sidewalk, deurim's gold earrings, and his own shoes. he can still feel deurim next to him, the soft fabric of his sweater clings to his arms, he wishes he never wore these jeans, and can feel his sock falling down to his ankle. he can hear beeping cars from down the street, his own breathing, and he can also hear deurim's thoughts. he can smell the river and the late-night restaurant that they past. in his mouth, he still tastes yeonghui.

"we need to go back," he mutters, turning around with a sharp movement and leaves deurim to follow.

they both know that she will.

oliver feels his eyes growing heavy as he looks at deurim. they did this often—lie in his bedroom with the television playing some video essay in the background and looking at each other. her hand rests on his of his, her thumb gliding across his knuckles and a small smile pulling at her tired eyes. she is beautiful like this.

“did you have fun today?” deurim asks softly, her voice missing the normal confidence that it normally held. she seems smaller here, as if shrinking herself down and wanting to take up less space.

oliver nods.

"i'm sorry that i mentioned... her," deurim tries again to coax oliver into responding out loud.

he knows that she's regretful, but oliver knows that if he spoke, the anxiety trapped behind his eyes out tumble out. he doesn't want her to feel bad because she did nothing wrong, it was all his fault for his. oliver was too weak to stop any of it.

"it's okay," he says after a few moments of gathering the strength.

"can i kiss you?"

he nods again and meets deurim in the middle, moving his hand to cup her cheek and tilt his head to deepen the kiss. kissing deurim never got tiring and oliver often found himself wishing that they were always in this moment, where he could confidently say that deurim liked him and he could, maybe, be someone to love. she sees him, faults and all and oliver doesn't want to let go of this.

[hanquokkasgirl]

Will we last?

Chapter 1

Moving day, there's nothing more... *sigh* STRESSFUL THAN THIS. Jesus fucking christ why do I have to be such a procrastinator on everything? Good thing my roommate is not, and has helped me a bit... okay, more than a bit. Okay okay, a lot.

Standing in my room looking at the pile of clothes that I'm supposed to fit into one suitcase, it just seems impossible. Absolutely impossible.

"Clarissa, can you come over and help me? Please?" I know I will owe big time... like big big time.

"Okay y/n but you know I'm packing the last of your mugs that you need to send through the mail. You remembered that right? You have a place to live once you get to Seoul?" Clarissa knew me really well. We've been friends since kindergarten, and haven't separated until now. She was like the sister I never had.

"Of course I do! I'm not that stupid" I scuffed and she gave me the look. "Okay, yes, I am but I do have a place because the company set it up" Clarissa just kept grabbing the clothes I handed her, folding them and putting them in a bag. "What's that bag for?"

She just stood up once the bag was full, grabbed the vaccuum, and started vaccuuming the bag. I just let out an oooh and kept going with packing.

"Well, you have 5 hours before you have to be at the airport, and you're all packed up. Lunch?" She said grabbing her keys.

"OOH, I could really eat some chinese right now" I screamed on the other side of the apartment as I jumped on top of the suitcase to close it. Then I heard the key jingle and the door close. "Ahh, that'll do it." I said once I closed my suitcase.

Moving to South Korea was not my first option but the job offer of working as a stylist AND make up artist, my major and minor in college, straight out of college was too incredible to pass. The company was paying for my housing and transportation, I already knew some of the language because my mother is Korean, and she always wanted me to have at least two languages. But I am so going to miss this place, my friends, family, this city. So many memories, but Clarissa was the one that told me to move on, I am going to miss her the most. I left all my crap by the door for whenever the guy from FedEx is supposed to pick it up. My room looks so empty... and I hear a meow right next to me, where MooMoo was sitting next to me. I crouched down to get to his level and pet him.

"I know little bud, I'm going to miss you too. I promise I'll visit you though" He intertwined with my legs and purred against me. We adopted him when we moved to this place, 3 years ago.

After 20 minutes, Clarissa came back with the food. "I just got your usual. Fried rice with Orange and Honey Sesame chicken and some veggie egg rolls."

"You're the best, you know that"

"Oh, I know" We chuckled and sat down in the living room to eat. MooMoo joined too, of course eating his own food.

"Okay, time to go!" Clarissa made sure to go through the checklist in the car, after the FedEx guys picked up my boxes and sent them to Seoul. I got in the passenger seat and put on the seatbelt. I insisted on driving but well... she's more stuborn than I am.

"Are you sure you're okay driving? I mean, we are in New York City and you just got your license two weeks ago." I said looking at her trying to push the key into the ignition button. I am doomed. This is it. This is my death.

"Of course I'm sure! This is easy peasy" I pushed the button while she motioned with her hands. She got a bit startled and then chuckled. I fasten my seatbelt yet again... if that was possible, grabbed the handle, and prayed to whatever god was listening that we made it safely.

Because we live in New York we never drive really, but her parents insisted in buying her a car to visit them in Atlanta. Although, with a hectic schedule from college and chasing two majors, I know show off, we almost never visited. They were the ones that came here more often. Since she was a year older than me *she got held back in preschool* she already had a stable job in the city. And I was the one moving away for a better future.

"We're all gonna die" I whispered so she couldn't hear me and get nervous to drive us. She put the car on Drive and we got going... AT 10 MILES AN HOUR. I let go of the handle and relax a little bit.

"Hey, honey...uhm, y'know I love ya right?" She nods. "Well, you are the best and everything but... CAN YOU DRIVE FASTER SINCE I HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN AN HOUR?!" I said and she jumped and pressed the gas. Uh-oh, did I go to far? Maybe I did.

"We're here! Huh? and with 15 extra minutes... you're welcome." I was white-knuckles grabbing my seatbelt. It was a miracle that the cops didnt stop us. I got off and my legs crumbled. "Pfft... baby... that was nothing."

"You went from one extreme to another... while I'm gone find your medium... please I'm begging you." I said composing myselg and grabbing my bookbag.

"I'll try. Ok then... Passport?"

"Check!"

"Boarding Pass?"

I take out my phone. "Check!"

"Chargers?"

"Check!"

"Medicines?"

"Uhmm..." I touched the small pocket of my bookbag. "Check!"

"Don't scare me here kid. Papers?"

"Issa, I have everything. Thanks to you. It's time to go. Give lots of kisses to MooMoo from me okay?" I said hugging her even though I know she hates it. She only allows it on special occassions.

"Ugh I don't want to say goodbye" She said... but not tearing up, she never cries. Never cries in front of people because between us she can be waterworks.

"You know I'll come visit. It's just a see ya... okay, love ya" I said grabbing my bags and entering the airports.

We decided to not be cheesy and say goodbye inside the airport so she just dropped me off and goes her way. As I line up for security check up, she calls me. "Yeah?"

"I'mgonnamissyousomuchwhydoyouhavetoleavemecomebackalready!!" See? Waterworks.

"I'll miss you too honey. I'll see ya in 3 months okay?" I said trying to console her.

"Mhmm... kay. MooMoo wont stop crying for you though."

"I know. It's my turn now. I love ya. I'll text ya my new number as soon as I land" I hang up so she concentrates on driving.

Once I cross that metal detector and find my gate, they were boarding already. I check my ticket. I never thought of checking where I was sitting before but oh well... there's a first for everything. I take my phone out of my pocket and... FIRST CLASS? Wow this company must be rich. I go up since first class is boarding... and I do get a couple of looks but they never bother me. They scan my ticket. "Welcome aboard Ms. Hart." The flight attendant smiled at me.

I walk to my seat and see how beautiful everything is. Another flight attendant comes up to me. "Welcome aboard, would you like a complimentary glass of champagne? And see our dinner options?"

"Sure! Thanks" I smile and she walks off. What a service. I can get used to this... maybe. They bring over a glass of champange and I look out the window from my solo seat.

New me... here I come.

[cleoooelizabeth]

Hyunjin (SKZ) x Female Reader (Y/N)

Y/N is moving to South Korea and she is extremely nervous, until she bumps into Hyunjin…

Warnings: fluff, flirting, angst, racism (Hyunjin coming to your rescue, not that you need it). Also, I don’t know Korean so they will all speak English, just use your imagination lmao.

Chapter 1

Y/N steps off the plane at Incheon International Airport, Y/N breathes in the air as she truly begins to come to terms with the fact that she will be starting a new life, in a new country, and she doesn’t know anyone.

There’s no point in panicking yet, she muses, she hadn’t even left the airport yet. Y/N takes her time through the airport, knowing that her luggage would still be there even if she didn’t shove her way through the crowd like the rest of the seemingly distressed travelers.

Once Y/N arrived at the baggage claim, her pastel pink suitcase was still on the conveyor belt, as she predicted. Most of the crowd had cleared so she had no issues removing it from the belt. Y/N got her suitcase and her hand luggage situated comfortably before she turned to leave the airport. 

“OW!” Y/N exclaims as she walks face first into a solid wall-like object. She rubs her nose as she looks up at the intrusion, locking eyes with one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen. Pulling her gaze away, she looks down at the smudge of foundation she knew would be on his brilliantly white shirt. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, let me pay for the dry cleaning or something. How much was the shirt?” She rambles.

“It’s Chanel. I don’t know if you’d be able to afford it. But don’t worry, I have more anyway.” He states.

“Cocky, aren’t we?” Y/N raises her eyebrow, her neck straining to see his face, which allows her to realize that they were still standing very close to each other. She hadn’t been able to back away after walking into him as the conveyor belt was behind her legs.

He smirks when he notices how nervous she is. “I’m Hyunjin, what’s your name?”

“Uh, Y/N.” It comes out almost as a whisper, he makes her breathless.

“Pretty name, for a pretty girl.” He compliments her, the smirk still pulling at his full lips.

“I better get going, I still need to pick up my keys. I’m moving into my new flat, in Hongdae, today.” Y/N says, her excitement obvious.

“Ok, but do you have any clue where you’re going?” Hyunjin asks, moving back a little.

“Not really, no. I was going to just book a taxi, I have the address.” Y/N states, pulling up the notes app on her phone and showing it to Hyunjin so he can save it in his GPS.

“Well I have a perfectly functional car and plenty of spare time if you’d like me to take you. Don’t want you wandering the streets of Seoul.”

“Ok, yeah. I mean, we just met… but I’m tired and you’re pretty. So yes, onward!” She exclaims, he laughs with her, admiring her waist length braids swaying with her hips as she walks ahead of him.

She stops suddenly, pivoting to face him again. “I just realised; I have no clue where your car is. After you, pretty boy.” She giggles. Hyunjin finds her even more adorable now, he didn’t think that was possible.

Once they reach the car, Hyunjin takes her luggage, putting it in the boot of the car with his own bag. He watches as she slips into the passenger seat, her knees bouncing as she waits patiently for him to get into the driver’s seat.

Hyunjin can feel her eyes on him as he starts the car, he places his hand on her head rest as he looks behind to reverse. He looks down and notices her breathing pick up slightly.

“You good? You look a little nervous.” He smirks, once again.

“I’m fine.” She clears her throat and faces the windscreen, hands clasped together in her lap.

‘He’s getting a kick out of this.’ Y/N thinks to herself.

“Ok well, can you put that address into the GPS app so I know where I’m driving.” He says as he unlocks his phone and passes it to her.

He focuses on the road as she types. “There.” Y/N declares as she places his phone into the holder on the dashboard. She then relaxes into the seat, however, her nerves are still obvious as her knee continues to bounce.

“You can relax, you know. I don’t bite.” He winks, suggestively.

Now all she can think about is him sinking his teeth into that sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. Her thighs squeezing together at the thought.

“How long will it take to drive there?” Y/N questions, a feeble attempt at distracting herself from this ethereal man.

“About an hour, with this traffic.” He answers without taking his eyes off the road.

His head twitches to the side when he hears your stomach rumbling.

“Sorry, I’m hungrier than I thought I was.” You say, with your hands covering your face in embarrassment.

“Ok, why don’t we stop along the way. I can take you to the best places so you can have the best first authentic Korean food experience, if you’d like.” He suggests.

“I’d actually like that a lot.” Y/N mutters with a shy smile.

After an hour or so, Hyunjin had parked the car next to a building that looked like no one had been there in years.

“Where the hell are we?” Y/N questions. 

“Here is where you will taste the best tteokbokki of your life.” Hyunjin replies, his face entirely sincere.

“Why are you doing this?” She questions him. “You’re being so kind to me, someone you just met.”

She watches his face as he thinks. 

“I know I don’t have to do this, but I liked your vibe from the moment I met you, so here we are.” He states. “Now come on.” He takes her hand and pulls her into the restaurant.

They sit opposite each other at a table close to the entrance.

“Yu-gi-yo!” Hyungin raises his voice slightly to get the waiter’s attention.

The waitress quickly walks over after hearing Hyunjin call them over.

“What can I get for you?” The waitress asks, sickly sweet.

It’s very obvious that she is attracted to him, I mean, who wouldn’t be? She notices, however, that his attention hasn’t left the woman he came in with.

“2 orders of tteokbokki, please.” He informs the waitress, his eyes still on Y/N.

The waitress exhales dramatically, walking away to place our order, once she realizes that he is entirely uninterested.

Y/N sits for a moment, feeling a little awkward. “You’re staring.”

“I prefer the term, observing.” He corrects her.

“Call it whatever you want, I just wanna know why you’re doing it.” Y/N huffs.

Hyunjin continues to stare at Y/N, entirely disinterested in her developing discomfort, but aware of her building arousal.

Fortunately, the food arrives before he could make the situation anymore tense.

“Go ahead, taste it…” He encourages her.

Y/N hesitantly takes a bite of a soft looking rice cake. Once in her mouth, her eyes nearly roll back into her skull, the flavour overwhelming her taste buds.

“You like it?” He asks, his facial expression hopeful.

“It’s delicious.” Y/N responds, her mouth still half full of tteokbokki.

“Of course, it’s a classic.” Hyunjin states as he shovels in a mouthful of his own.       

 

                

“My god, I don’t think I’ve ever been this full in my life!”

“So, you liked it then?” Hyunjin inquires.

“You knew I’d like it, who couldn’t? It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted!” Y/N replies with enthusiasm.

“Ok, well, if you liked that, I’m sure you can trust my opinion from now on, right?” He asks.

“I believe so, yes.” She replies.

“Then, follow me.”

And she does.

[monalovesstarsz]

Maybe we could

Genre: Non idol au and idk what else to say 😭

Pairings: Shy sick sunghoonxchronic illness shy y/n (I clearly don't know how to do this)

Summary: Y/n starts to spend a lot of time in a hospital due to her health and its super lonely until she meets sunghoon and they agree to try their best to live as regular teens.

Warnings: uhh I'm not totally sure but illnesses, thoughts of death, hospitals, depression, mentions of death (probably)

Not proof read 🙈

Chapter 2

"Uhm uh-Hi Sunghoon!"

'shit' you mentally cursed. You have never met him ever but you just said you just said his name. Why would you say his name oh my gosh!!! No way no way you had just messed up so hard. Had he known you had been following him all this time? No right? You're thoughts were interrupted by his voice

"Uhm hi it seems like you were struggling with that ?" His index finger pointed to your wheelchair. You knew he was tall but this was the first time you saw him standing up. He had always he sitting in his chair. As bad as it sounds you didn't think he could walk.

"Ohh yeah I um haven't really mastered how to use a wheelchair, My nurse wants me to learn how to use one on my own but I'm kinda tired so" you ended your sentence with a shrug.

"Ohh I can take you back to your room if you want." He smiled awkwardly again.

"Oh no you don't have to it's okay!!"

"No it's fine I insist"

"Okay thanks."

"So uh how did you know my name?"

So close. You were so close to your room. You almost made it before he had asked that question. Quick come up with something and excuse anything!

"Oh I-uh I well.. Oh! Giselle is my nurse and she something about mentioned you!!" Not smooth at all but it was okay he seemed like he believed you.

"Ohh she was one of my nurses but what did she say?"

'shit'

"Oh uhm she said that you and I were alike because we're both shy!" Not smooth once again but he believed you once again.

"Oh she told you that? I guess I can be sorta shy sometimes."

After he said that you guys had made it to your room.

"Uhm thanks for taking me back to my room oh and sorry for bumping into you earlier."

"Yeah it was no problem I don't have much to do anyway, and don't worry about earlier I couldn't get it at first either. Oh and I never asked your name?"

"Oh I'm y/n! And uh if you're as bored as me would you like to hangout with me in my room?" You don't know how you got the balls to ask him that but you did and you didn't question it. If he rejected your hangout you would switch hospitals for sure though.

"Yes I would like that haha" he showed off his smile and this time it wasn't an awkward one.

"So how old are you? You don't look older any older than me?" Asked sunghoon after sitting on the couch that was attached to the wall under your window.

"mhm? Oh I turned 16 this this year what about you?"

"Ohh we're both 16! But I'm about to turn 17 so I'm your elder." He giggled and teased you.

"Yeah yeah but we're the same age so it doesn't really count" you shrugged

"I'm still your elder though so yes it does."

"Okay fine" you said while you teasingly rolled your eyes

"If you want I can try to teach you how to maneuver a wheelchair. I didn't get it at first either and it gets pretty tiring."

"Oh yeah you should please I really need it."

"I could tell."

You shove him jokingly and rolled around in your wheelchair.

"I can drive it but I just can't turn that well."

"Oh that's tricky but I can show you how to later."

"deal!"

"How long have you been here Y/n?"

"Ohh it's been about three or four weeks, but I'm supposed to stay for awhile. What about you?" You saw sunghoons eyes gleamed as you said that.

"Oh I've been here for about almost 7 years. I moved here from south Korea when I was about 10 years old"

"mmm so you've been here for awhile then"

"yeah but back then I wasn't always spending most of my time here.I was a figure skater and im pretty good at it too!"

"Wowww an actual figure skater? Ive never met one before!! That's literally so cool dude you have to teach me some time!"

"Okay okay sure bro" he said the last word teasingly and you couldn't help but let a little laugh out.

"But only if you teach me how to draw as well as you." You figured he had seen your drawing book that was on your bed and the page was flipped onto your last drawing which was of two butterflies flying around together.

"Okay sure dude!" You had emphasized the last word.

You guys talked for two whole hours after that and about the most random things. You guys shared a lot in common but we're two completely different people. After that you heard a knock on your door

"Come in." You yelled quietly.

Gisellse walked in with a tray of really really bad hospital food.

"Hey Y/n it's time for dinner- Oh Heyy sunghoon!" She winked at you. 'Finally' she thought

"Oh yeah it's already 6" You said kinda sad knowing sunghoon would have to leave soon

"Oh I should probably get going now but remember our deal okay?"

"Yeah I will! I'll walk you to the elevator then."

"Hey y/n you know what Mr.lee said. You have to use your wheelchair,try to get used to it." Gisellse mostly said that so she could see you two interact. She was so curious about it. She honestly thought you two would be great friends but you both would be super duper awkward at least at first. Oh boy was she wrong. You both kinda clicked I mean it was kinda awkward at times but both of you didn't mind.

"We should hangout tomorrow again then" Sunghoon said excitedly walking into the elevator while Giselle wheeled you right in front of the elevator.

"Oh then where should we meet and what time?"

"Mhmm what about 2:30?" He said while opening your rooms door. He had a mischievous look on his face. Odd

"Sure but where?"

"I think you already know where I'll be around 2:30 you follow me like everyday y/n." He said it with a mischievous smirk as the elevator doors were about to close.

"WHAT??" You and Giselle in perfect unison.

w⁠(⁠°⁠ｏ⁠°⁠)⁠w

[c3stlav1e]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥   basics 

♡ .  stage name: sol

♡ .  birth name: kang seolah

♡ .  birthday: oct 12, 1994

♡ .  zodiac: libra

♡ .  birthplace: daegu, south korea

♡ .  ethnicity: korean

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥   personal

♡ . personality

growing up in a household with traditionally conservative values, one of the first things seolah learned was to appease. she is all about being neutral and realistic, sticking to the middle of the road 9 times out of 10. the argument between nature and nurture can surely be made, but much of her knack for people pleasing nowadays comes from her genuine want to make people happy or keep the peace whether or not it’s exactly what she wants. she’s very good at keeping a cool head and generally has a very calm presence that her friends and members have noted they value in their chaotic industry. she’s typically never one to take big risks and can be rather indecisive. some feel that she is boring, but once you get to know her, she is a steady and reliable presence in each of her friends’ lives.

♡ . family

. han junghee ; grandmother

. kang youngchul ; grandfather

. kang sunmi ; mother

♡ . physical

. height: 160 cm ( 5’3” )

. faceclaim: kang seulgi

. body mods: double lobe piercings and a cartilage piercing on her right ear

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥   professional

♡ . label: rainbow entertainment

♡ . training period: 2 years

♡ . group position: leader, main vocalist

♡ . idol persona

seolah is a natural leader, taking a very nurturing and motherly attitude in her role, especially being the oldest. she is the peacemaker and the role model, keeping all of her ducks in a row. she has a more shy and quiet disposition on variety shows or interviews, and is typically found sitting back and watching the other members have fun or answer questions with an admiring gaze rather than jumping in herself. she is often called referred to as the mom of the group by fans and this is proven in the little ways she cares for her members that are often caught on camera such as feeding them or encouraging them through practice or on stage. sometimes she plays up the motherly role with lovies as well, using her socials to ask how they’re days have been or asking of they’ve eaten yet. this isn’t to say that it’s all she’s known for, her powerful vocals capturing the attention of fans and non-fans alike. she frequently appears on singing shows or posting covers to her instagram story to show off her talents. several of her covers have gone viral, some even calling her the kelly clarkson of kpop. she is also the most likely member to be singing or humming something random at any point in the day, many behind the scenes videos featuring few scenes of her actually talking to the camera, but plenty of her singing in the background of other members’ clips.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥   history tw ; religious trauma, grooming, homophobia

born to young parents caught up in the wrong scene, she spent a majority of her life raised by her religious grandparents after her mother left her with them one night and never returned for her again. she grew up going to church every sunday, attending a christian private school, and praying at every meal and each night before bed. in fact, she first discovered her love for singing in church, joining the choir as soon as she could. 

she quickly rose to the top of the pedestal in the choir, her talent and ambitions making her stand out amongst the crowd and earned her solo after solo. while she could do it on her own, she also had the help of one of the lead choir directors, a middle aged man in the church community. he called her special and often offered her “special lessons” disguising his grooming her. his special treatment of her became obvious to the rest of the choir and she earned her fair share of hatred from her fellow members. 

as long as she could remember, seolah was infatuated by another girl in the choir who was two years older than her. she was beautiful and talented and was the star of the show. as she climbed the ranks, the two were constantly pit against each other in competition. however, they managed to become close, confiding in each other, and forming a friendship despite the imposed competition between them. but when seolah finally confided in her the abuse that she was facing at the hands of the director, the older girl felt misplaced jealousy, having been groomed the same way by the same man. the girl told the church that seolah had kissed her after practice one day, she was effectively kicked from the choir and ostracized by the church.

her grandparents were both mortified and livid at the news. after some convincing that it was all a lie, they eventually believed seolah, but they became even stricter afterwards. she attended church nearly everyday and was frequently made to attend confessional. 

she auditioned for rainbow ent in secret after receiving a card from a scout at one of the choir’s holiday recitals just before she was kicked out. she made the 2 hour trip by train, telling her grandparents she was attending a church volunteer trip. when she was accepted, she was both overjoyed and terrified to finally break the news to her grandparents. as she predicted, they were incredibly angry when she brought it up with them. they hated the idol lifestyle and all it stood for, beginning even at the name “idol,” and told her they would have nothing to do with it in their home. however, growing sick of living under their iron fist, she took the biggest risk she’s ever taken and chose to pursue being a trainee over her relationship with them.

they still have a complicated relationship even after years of immense success, and have only spoken a few times since she first left. she still attempts to call them on any major religious holidays, but she only sometimes gets an answer. her mother has reached out to her again since a few years after their debut, somewhat attempting to repair her role in her life, however every time she asks for money it is set back once more.

although she’s endured a rough road in regards to her faith and her family, the family she has built with her group members and her friends have filled much of the hole in her heart. she has slowly come to terms with her sexuality over the years with the help of her found family and her current girlfriend, sunnie. despite what she’s been through, she wouldn’t give up her life now and all of the people she has come to love for the world.

[comma57]

devil may cry netflix show!?

hi everyone. welcome to my in-depth analysis of the upcoming devil may cry netflix anime. yesterday was the first time we got a look at what to expect visually. it was very short, but there's a lot to talk about. long, image heavy post ahead.

what's old?

firstly, let's briefly go over what we had known about the show before the trailer was shown. it's featuring dante (of course), and lady and vergil were confirmed to also make an appearance. so i had assumed it was a dmc3 adaptation, since it was unlikely to be post-dmc5. the first season would be 8 episodes long, with more seasons to come. the producer and co-writer is adi shankar, and is working with the producer for the original dmc and 2007 anime, hiroyuki kobayashi. (1)

here's a selection of quotes from some interviews with shankar, previously known for work on netflix's yasuke and other shows (something called "castle" "vania"). apparently he's working on a PUBG show too. okay.

"I've acquired these rights myself, so that the jabronies in Hollywood can't fuck this one up too." (2)

"Again, this was developed by a DMC fan for DMC fans, that was the ethos of this project. Production should start at the beginning of next year." (3)

"I feel like I can meaningfully contribute to the lore of the series. Devil May Cry has unique iconography and emotionally engaging lore." (4)

"The characters in DMC have an operatic depth and they experience growth across the series so it’s fun to – in a Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase 3 kind of way – play with and explore that depth through the lens of psychological realism and dissect the trauma buried below the surface of that depth." (4)

"Devil May Cry.. will join Castlevania in what we're now calling the 'bootleg multiverse'. Let the speculation begin." (6) (i forgot he said this i'm so scared)

"You're a Vergil fan? Are you also a Thanos fan?" (6)

what's new?

with that awesome start out of the way, let's get into the new stuff. with no release date other than "soon", we know it's being animated by studio mir, a studio based in south korea ("anime" feels like a misnomer now but i won't get into that) and previously worked on legend of korra, voltron legendary defender, and star wars visions vol 2, to name a few.

hideaki itsuno, director of the dmc series since dmc2, tweeted that he was "supervising it properly!" (7)

there was also a promo for the netflix stream that showed ebony & ivory.. from the DmC reboot. which hopefully was a mistake. and that the reboot has nothing to do with the show.

here's the tagline for the show: "In this animated adaptation of the popular Capcom game, sinister forces are at play to open the portal between the human and demon realms. In the middle of it all is Dante, an orphaned demon-hunter-for-hire, unaware that the fate of both worlds hangs around his neck." aww, dante.

alright, now let's get into the trailer analysis..!! LET'S ROCK!!!!

dante..?

here's everyone's favorite devil hunter- wait. where is he? who is this? checks notes um. well. i guess this is supposed to be dante. white hair, red coat, twin pistols, confident smirk.. it has the key points of dante, but something is off OH GOD IS HE WEARING A SHIRT? (and suspenders??)

1. his shirt? now, in all other iterations of dante he wears a shirt yes. but fans of the series would know in dante's look in devil may cry 3, he very much doesn't wear a shirt. that iconic red jacket is the only thing standing between him and catching a cold in cerberus' icy chambers. not having a shirt tells a lot about dante as a 19 year old living on his own. who's got time for shirts? he just took a shower and a demon crashed into his office. he's only got time to put on his coat in a very cool and dramatic manner. but that's not the only thing different from his dmc3 design.

2. his hair. dmc3 dante's hair is nearing shoulder length, and is pretty flat. his bangs have a tendency to cover his eyes, but in the original game (not hd collection, which fucked with the textures), there was a bit of transparency. (8) of course i would not expect the same level of detail in animation regarding the hair, so some liberties must be taken. going forward acknowledging that when i further discuss his design, netflix dante's hair is totally different when it didn't have to be. his hair is much shorter, and kinda flares up in the back. it's more like lady's hair in that regard. his bangs are also totally different. with the middle part, it looks like much inspiration was taken from dmc5 dante's hair.

3. his coat. or whatever his shoulder pads that connect to the back of his coat (to hold his sword and pistols) are different. personally i feel they take up too much real estate on his coat's striking red. the shoulder straps are there for dmc3, but the back part of it looks inspired by dmc5 (minus the skull, sadly).

4. his amulet. if nothing else, this is what confirms it's an adaptation of dmc3 for me, since we haven't seen the amulet since dmc3, and chronologically, since dmc1. it went into the sparda, after all. i'm actually very happy it's visible on his neck, since in the game, it's only visible when he's coat-less (at the beginning of the game), or when it's relevant. otherwise it's tucked away. so here's the slightly concerning news. the amulet doesn't look like how it appeared in dmc1/3. in fact, it bears a closer resemblance to the reboot, with the brown string and lack of silver encasing. scary! that's scary!

5. his guns..? these don't look like ebony and ivory, seeing as they're the same color. but honestly that's intriguing to me. it's possible the show could cover what the pre dmc3 novel covers—how dante got his iconic twin pistols, and lost a friend in the process (nico's grandma, nell goldstein the gunsmith), which i would actually love to see how that would be done.

6. his sword (OR LACK THEREOF) WHERE IS REBELLION?! maybe he stuck it in a beast. it literally took me this long to realize it's not there. feels intentionally omitted. what happened to it..

7. his voice. he has a different voice actor. which is awesome because reuben langdon sucks shit as a person.

now, there is nothing wrong with a redesign! but i can't help but be disappointed. the art style is not my favorite so far concerning his ..face.. but i think his hair was truly the biggest loss, especially when dmc3 dante is my favorite. it just doesn't look like dante to me. it's always possible he'll change over the course of the show (lose the shirt and suspenders for one).. maybe he gets a haircut.. one can hope. and those pants man. lose the gray pants. dark brown looks better.

miscellaneous musings

the last section of this analysis is on all other visual elements besides dante's design. you might want to turn your brightness up for this part.

here's a shot of some industrial looking area—looks like cement floors, some crates and metal shelves. there's a table? a bench?? and a support pillar, which makes me think it's in some kind of warehouse, lit up with moonlight from windows. also dante disappears for a moment, only to reappear a moment later, which i want to believe is him using air trick. one can believe.

the first picture looks like a tail or something slamming into the wall, which dante was jumping to avoid in the shot. for the second and third pictures, something with a bat wing like appendage swings at dante, and it becomes veiny and much like a blade. there are no dmc3, much less any dmc enemies that this could belong to. i would place my bets on it being a new demon designed for the show, unless they are drawing from some other media (novels, 2007 anime) that i'm less familiar with the demons of. it could look cool, i'm always down to look at new demon designs.

and that's pretty much it! i hope you enjoyed reading this. i will be watching it when it comes out and will definitely have thoughts and strong opinions on it, and probably will more informally discuss any other promotional materials they may share.

(1) https://www.ign.com/articles/devil-may-cry-anime-scripts-done-multiple-seasons-dante-vergil (2), (6) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i-bP9MSi0c (3) https://comicbook.com/anime/news/devil-may-cry-netflix-anime-producer-adi-shankar-update/ (4), (5) https://ftw.usatoday.com/2021/11/adi-shankar-interview-devil-may-cry-anime-netflix (7) https://twitter.com/tomqe/status/1707071614423310754 (8) really recommend this video for those interested in how the hd collection differs from the ps2 originals. also catbus has done one on dmc1 too. general flashing warning bc it's dmc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USE6-uwB6gc

[kiwiraccoon]

Numb, Emptiness III

Ateez OT8 x OC

Summary: after witnessing the death of her family, her uncle sends her back to South Korea to live with the eight guys he had saved over the years. They seem to be almost, if not just, as mentally messed up as she is, and the goal is for her to help them and them to help her. Time heals, but it’s already been 11 years of suffering for her, can they really help?

overall notes: MDNI mental health: depression, anxiety, ocd, antisocial, agoraphobia, personality disorders, mental breakdowns. mentions and descriptions of gruesome deaths, gore. polygamy, shared female, suggestive, fluff, smut?, building relationships. THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED OR UNDERAGE!! this not meant to depict real Ateez but an au, not about their real selves or real struggles, I took ideas from their real selves but again not meant to be negative towards them or anything against their image… THIS IS JUST MY MORBID MIND RUNNING WILD!

Word count: 2340

“What do you want for lunch?” Mingi asks, still sitting beside me in our same spots in the living room. I had been so lost in the book that I didn’t notice most of the others in the room until I looked around. Seonghwa stands in the threshold waiting for the lunch order, Wooyoung is back in the room now sitting in a further position but watching me intently, San sits next to Wooyoung leaning on him slightly as his legs rest in another’s lap. This guy refuses to look up at me, keeping his attention on his own book and I can’t for the life of me remember his name. He is one of the ones that keeps to himself, either wary of me or completely unfazed by a newcomer. Finally, someone who seems tall, just like Mingi, sits the closest but keeps his eye on Mingi watching carefully. I can see he cares for Mingi deeply, he knows the signs for his friend, he knows when to step in, and he knows that Mingi is comfortable with me. Though, no matter how comfortable Mingi may look, he needs more proof, I can see that.

“Kai?” Mingi asks again, pulling my attention back to him, I nod in his direction to acknowledge him.

“Pizza.” I respond simply, my one word being enough to send Seonghwa heading back into the kitchen and Mingi smiling softly at my expressing what I want. It wasn’t any emotion or anything, but the fact I spoke directly to his question with people around made him feel proud. I know he is determined to bring my emotions out, but he is more than willing to wait. I wish I could express my gratitude towards him for that in more ways than just saying it with a monotone voice that speaks nothing but the word.

My eyes move back to Wooyoung, meeting his eyes for the first time since he left earlier. I send him a nod to let him know I see him and am not upset at him in any way. He smiles to himself and turns his attention to what San was showing him on his phone. My own attention goes back to my book that sits lonely in my lap, I try to get back into the words and distract myself from the room around me. It’s as if the world is against me when the music completely cuts out with no warning, I know my earbuds haven’t died because I wasn’t given a warning. Immediately I shove the book onto the ground and grab my earbud from Mingi, not even taking a moment to glance at anyone else as I walk to my room.

I can feel the anxiety bubbling within me, I know what happens when I don’t have music to ground me. I can’t let them hear me. The second I enter my room I lock the door the same way I had these past two days, my chair being the reassurance that no one can get in. My body moves on its own, throwing my phone and headphones on their chargers before walking into my bathroom and stripping myself bare. The shower turns on quickly and I waste no time in standing underneath the stream not caring that the water hasn’t warmed up yet. I stand there trying to ground myself into the feel of the water and the sounds that come with it. But nothing stops my thoughts from breaking out.

You wish you could express it don’t you? You wish you could be weak? You want people to know your weaknesses again? You want someone to get into your heart so they can rip it apart? You really want that?

They won’t.

Yes, yes they will you idiot. They will get in there and they will wreck havoc on your entire being like they did.

They aren’t them.

How do you know that? Huh? You don’t know them. You know nothing. You are as ignorant as the child you were. What did I tell you? Don’t let anyone in! Don’t! No one cares about you like I do! No one! I am protecting you! I am making sure that never happens again!

You can’t do that! You are just a voice!

A voice who made you nothing but a shell. A voice who made sure no one could see your tears again. A voice who made sure no one could feed off your fear again! I am your protector!

“NO!” I yell out falling to the ground, I scream to block out its voice, I bang against the walls and floor to ground myself. 

Pathetic!

“NO! SHUT UP!” I yell out again feeling my throat burn from the volume, straining my vocal cords. I do everything to shut the damn voice up. I won’t let it control me anymore. I won’t let it stop me anymore. 

Leave me alone! You haven’t helped me! You made me nothing! You made me feel like I was nothing but a shell for people to abuse! You made it worse! You didn’t protect me! You hurt me more, let me go!

If that’s what you want. Good luck. Don’t come crawling back when it gets to be too much. I hope you realize how much I helped you.

“GO AWAY! LEAVE!” I continue telling even as I hear the banging against my bedroom door, I can feel the power within the bangs vibrating the room. But I sit there yelling, screaming, punching, and finally crying. The tears mix with the water running down my body heating up my skin, burning away the pain my void has caused. If I had never been locked in my own mind I would have never been abused. My void caused that. I let my void cause that. I did that myself.

I sob. I finally let out all my pain with screams and tears, letting it fully consume my body. I shouldn’t have ever let my void win, but I did, and now I will make it go away. “Just go away.” I sob softly, fully curling into a ball on my shower floor. 

Minutes go by and I finally stand, my sadness turns into anger as I look at myself in the foggy mirror. The water no longer runs and the silence consumes me, letting the anger at my past self take over. Before I know it my fist makes contact with the mirror, shattering it into a million pieces like the glass that had tried to conceal myself. I finally break free. My eyes lock onto the blood that drips down my fist and onto my wrist before gravity takes it to the vanity. 

The broken reflection meets my eyes when I look up and I finally see emotion on my face, I see the pain, the anger, the satisfaction. I can fully feel it all. I know the second I leave this room I will be nothing but a shell again as I try to work through my mind, to navigate the new landscape that is my full thought process being my own again. With a final sigh to ground myself I pull away and allow my sense to come back to the moment. The banging is still loud and clear against my bedroom door. I enter my room and calmly put clothes on, ignoring the stinging in the ripped skin on my right hand. My phone remains in its place hastily thrown on the charger and laying face down on my bed. 

On autopilot I put both headphones in and blast my music not allowing any sound to break through and I take my now fully charged phone and walk to unlock my door. The second my chair is moved from the door it is thrown open, and there stands my uncle. I see his lips move but I hear nothing, I try to walk around him but he grabs the wrist on my right hand noticing the blood before dragging me out of my room and down to the kitchen. He quickly grabs a first aid kit and works to clean my wounds, my eyes remain closed to block out every little thing around me. I don’t notice every occupant in the room watching my uncle tend to my needs, I don’t notice the worry Mingi barely holds down as Yunho holds him back from running over to me. I definitely don’t notice how every single person is silent and on high alert. They all heard me. I know that, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Not until I know the layout of my own mind.

~Seonghwa’s POV~

I watch with an attentive eye as her uncle works on cleaning her hand, it’s then I notice there must be left over carnage to clean from her room. I refuse to let her relive her breakdown by seeing it all again. Slipping away silently I move to my closet to grab my cleaning supplies and make my way to her room. Usually I wouldn’t invade someone’s personal space, especially their room, but the need to protect her from herself overweights that moral compass. 

The second I step into her room I can feel the tension that remains in the air, wrapping itself around me like a poorly secured straightjacket. I can smell the iron wafting in the air reminding me of the cuts in her hands and her uncle mentions pieces of glass left in her skin that he was delicately removing when I left. The windows remain intact so I turn to her bathroom and gasp at the sight I see. Mirror shards litter the vanity countertop with some finding comfort on the cold floor below. I see the blood sticking to the pieces that remain on the wall along with the drops that haphazardly dot the ground, some even making their way into her bedroom.

I feel the emotions swarming the air, filtering into my lungs and allowing me insight into her breakdown that left her silent and in her own mind. I’m not even sure she noticed all of us in the kitchen watching with worry as her uncle tended to her. She definitely didn’t hear us speak about what had happened and what we had heard. Her screams still echo in my ears and I fear they will torment my dreams, I never want to hear someone that broken again. We could hear her mental battle take over her entire being, the way she yelled at it, like it was a person standing right in front of her threatening her life. I have never seen Mingi run so fast.

The clumsiness that usually took over his large form didn’t show as he ran up the stairs effortlessly and began banging against her door. It feared he would break down the door, but even his body slamming against the wood didn’t budge the solid obstacle. She made sure no one could get in. She knew what was going to happen and I think she didn’t even want us to know. But we all heard. I watched over everyone, saw every single reaction. Hongjoong quickly called her uncle to get him home, he was the only one that knew her better than herself, even if Mingi was getting there he was in no state to be calm. Yunho watched Mingi like a hawk, noticing the fear that took over his features. None of us have ever seen him like that, and I think Yunho finally realized how much she meant to him.

Wooyoung stood behind everyone, his curiosity took in every moment. He pulled San back into his arms as San broke down, letting the older cry in his arms at the realization someone was fighting their battles alone and he couldn’t do anything about it. Wooyoung soothed him with words reminding him that she was strong, she was going to be okay, and that he was there for him. But I could tell San kept thinking about how she was alone. He hated seeing people alone. When she locked herself away these last two days San helped me make the meals for her, and brought them up to her room for me.

Jongho stood with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as he listened to every word she said, he was listening to her battle. Yeosang stood beside him with his arms in the pocket of his hoodie, I could see the way he anxiously fiddled with his fingers. Neither of them were close to her but they felt her pain, they understood the rage she felt at her own thoughts. They understood why she was breaking down.

I stood next to Mingi facing everyone to look at all of them with Hongjoong behind me down the hall calling her uncle. I leaned against the wall next to her door and help a solemn look on my face, she had been a silent helping hand to me when I didn’t need it and yet I couldn’t help her. I felt so helpless. My need to care for her grew stronger in that moment and I think it did for many of us. 

Now I kneel on the floor of her bedroom, scraping the blood out of her carpet, the last task I need to complete before her room is reminder free. I have never cleaned so hard in my life but if I could help her by removing the reminder of her pain I would do it to the best of my ability and more. She has helped me by cleaning the dishes and putting them away exactly how I like them. Somehow she noticed my ways of cleaning and didn’t try to change them, I will forever appreciate that and I will show that in caring for her the way she deserves. 

She will never be alone again. She will never be abused again. She will never be nothing again. I will make sure of it.

[heartbreakblda]

🔷️ Your “I’m Feeling Blue” BL 🔷️

You are feeling weird today. It’s not really sad, but not happy either. I guess you are just feeling blue. A bit melancholic and seeing the most happy couple together, is the furthest from your mind.

💎🔷️💎

Theory Of Love (Thailand)

Third has been in love with his best friend Khai forever. But unfortunately is Khai not just incredibly oblivious, no. He is also the biggest playboy known to men, well, women. 😳 Can Khai find his way, before things are too late?

Get some tissues ready or a baseball bat. 🤪🥸🙈 Depending if you anger easily or tear up easily. This show will do stuff to your feelings. But all ends well here.

💎🔷️💎

Dark Blue And Moonlight (Taiwan)

When Yan Fei almost drowns at a pool, he gets rescued by a good looking man. They have a short but intense run in, but due to circumstances they loose sight of each other again. Can time bring these two star crossed lovers together again?

This is a love story that shows that sometimes love is just not enough for a happy relationship. Timing is also rather important. If this ends happily depends if you watch the special or not.

💎🔷️💎

Night Flight (South Korea)

It's hard to believe. But nerd Yong Ji and local youth gang leader Gi Wong used to be best friends. But these times are long gone and while Yong Ji still tries to keep the connection alive, Gi Wong would love nothing more than to forget Yong Ji even exists. But in the middle of betrayal, violence and tears, both boys seem to find something they didn't expect.

This movie comes with a warning. Because the violence in there is no joke. There is also sexual violence. So be warned. It’s an unusual love story and it’s up to you if you believe it's a happy or sad ending.

💎🔷️💎

Until We Meet Again (Thailand)

When Pharm and Dean meet, they can feel an instant pull towards each other. Little do they know they are binded by a tragic past. Can they overcome all their past trauma and make it work this time around?

Everything starts with a bang. And what a tragic one this is. It’s really nothing for the faint of heart. Yes, there is a lot of sweetness and love in here, but there is also a ton of hurt and tragedy.

💎🔷️💎

The Eclipse (Thailand)

A student joins a new school to find out the reasons for his own family’s tragedy. During his investigations he stumbles over something so much worse than he ever could have imagined. And when he finds one of the believed culprits he understands that he is just another victim of the same system.

Does this sound cryptic? Awesome, then it’s absolutely correct for this series. The Eclipse is A LOT more than just another school BL. They finally allowed Khaotung off his leash here and together with First he just acts a storm together.

💎🔷️💎

The Promise (Thailand)

After years and years together Nan wakes up to an empty shared flat and his best friend since childhood Phu simply has disappeared without as much as a word. All his searches end up fruitless. But when Phu suddenly stands in front of Nan again, things just get even more complicated. Years of hurt and sadness are difficult to overcome.

This is such an underrated gem. So much sorrow and anxiety, but it’s just so, so good. The lead couple has a very good rapport with each other and a shout out to an awesome granny in the show. 😊

[complete-in-ix]

Statement 20233003 - The Tricky House

Rated: G

Warning(s): Unreality, Manipulation, Kidnapping, softcore psychological torture. Basically if the Tricky House mv was a TMA statement

Description: A sneak peek into the recorded archives of the KQ Foundation, dedicated to researching the paranormal.

(Read on Ao3)

[Click]

Minjae

Statement of Kim Gyuguk, regarding a suspected dokkaebi attack on his nightly commute from work on the Seoul Metro. Original statement given March 30, 2023. Audio recording by Kim Minjae, Apprentice Archivist of the KQ Foundation, South Korea. Statement begins.

Minjae (Statement)

I'm no stranger to the consequences of working overtime. The lost sleep, the sickly feeling that comes with eating too much too late at night, the amount of staggering that it takes to get back on my feet in the following days... Well, it's not like it can be helped. Business is business, and my boss would have my head if I didn't finish this project by tomorrow. I know I'm not young enough to keep shaking off these consequences for much longer, but at least the overtime pay can carry me over for now. Last night was no different than usual. 

I arrived at the office before the sun rose to get a head start on my work, but that still didn't prevent me from being unable to leave until well after it set. Thankfully I was still able to catch the last train home, and unsurprisingly it was empty. I couldn't help but notice as I sat down that the absence of other people seemed to highlight the amount of graffiti in the car that I had chosen. Teenagers these days have too much time on their hands, I suppose. At the time, I was really too tired to care and started to drift off the instant the train started to move. It was while I was nodding off that I noticed the train car wasn't as empty as I assumed it to be. 

There was a young man in the corner seat next to the door that connects the separate train cars together. Half his face was covered by a hat, but even then I could tell that he was quite handsome. His attitude seemed to leave much to be desired however, considering how he was sitting with one foot up on the seat next to him—then again, I'm sure all the young ladies that surely flock to leave love notes in his locker have no regard for that. Sometimes I worry for this generation. Well, whatever, I was much too tired to give him a scolding and he seemed to be minding his own business as well aside from giving me that look that all teenagers like to give adults, so I was content to stay in my seat until one of us reached our stop. He, however... Was not. 

I heard his footsteps coming toward me while my eyes were closed, stopping just in front of me. I really wasn't in the mood to entertain him, so I paid him no mind when it just seemed like he was standing there. I then heard a slight rustle of clothes, and then the headphones that he had been wearing were placed over my head. I braced myself for some screaming noise or nonsense, but it was actually quite pleasant. He hadn't been listening to anything, just some white noise at a low volume to drown out the noises of the train. I could have fallen asleep, until the very noise I had been expecting began to blast into my head! 

I stood up to confront him, but he just backed away with this... Cryptic grin on his face. In my headphones, I could hear something like "Let me show you around our mysterious Tricky House"... Whatever that means. The boy managed to lipsync to it perfectly without even hearing his own music. I would have grabbed his shoulder to ask what he meant, demand that he explain himself or apologize, but he just stepped through the door connecting our train car to the next one before I could even think to move. There were two other boys beyond that door, one who greeted this little troublemaker with an embrace that was quickly hidden from my view by the other boy stepping out to block me. 

He was dancing in my face, somehow lipsyncing along perfectly to the song blasting in my ears despite being unable to hear a word. The song was asking me to look around, to pick what was real... I didn't quite understand why he seemed to be following it along so closely until he threw out his hand and nearly struck me. I managed to avoid his arm by sidestepping him and turning around, but perhaps the motion was too fast for me to handle. No matter how I try to reason with my own memory, I clearly saw three wisps of blue flame fly out from this second boy's hand in the direction I was now facing. I could only watch as they fanned out in front of me and disappeared in a blinding flash. Where the flames were, there were three more boys standing in front of me, also dancing to the music that they surely couldn't hear. Then again, it was playing so loud in my own ears that it might have been leaking out of those headphones. The leader of this little squad asked me if I was "feeling their game", whatever that means. I'll never understand young people and their slang, but I do know that I did not want anything to do with this game! Then, I... 

I'm really not sure what exactly happened. I know I took a step towards them to push my way through and leave for the next car, only to find myself already in the next car down in the blink of an eye! When I regained my bearings, there was another little group in this gang of troublemakers blocking my path! There must have been four or five of them this time, one that I recognized as the second little trouble maker who threw the flames. He and the rest of this group were led by a foreigner, who asked me—well, I can't be sure if it even was his voice playing in my ears, but he lipsynced it very well—in perfect Korean if I was worried about losing. I wanted nothing to do with this game to begin with, so I took a step back to the car I'd started my ride in. 

Again, I found myself thrown backward to the car past it! Someone threw a hand over my shoulder from behind, then, and a voice in my ear—the same one playing in my headphones, though I have no idea how I was still able to hear it over the noise—welcoming me to their "playground". By this point I was quite stricken by motion sickness, so I didn't dare move again. The troublemakers did it for me, flashes of blue fire flying out from behind me and disappearing to reveal a boy with strikingly red hair in front of me. He said... He said many things to me, though it was so fast that I had trouble hearing any of it.

His companions appeared and disappeared in blinding flashes all around him and me, pushing me around and dazzling me until I started to feel much more than a little sick. I did my best to keep it down while these boys flashed and danced around me—despite how terribly mannered they were being, me throwing up on them would be much worse—but it eventually got to be too much, my stomach flickering with an unbearable heat until I was forced to retch. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Blue-hot flames ripped their way from my throat instead of bile that left a burning sensation behind like no other. I felt as if my entire torso were being emptied, and although I was already hungry as I stepped onto the train, my hunger was pulled out from me as well. Those flames had burned me numb. Even though I must have been under some kind of influence because of this gang—whether they had secretly drugged me or there was some kind of subliminal frequency imbedded in those headphones that I still hadn't taken off, that wasn't even the strangest part about this entire thing! 

No, what unsettles me the most is that after I had vomited up those flames, the movement... Seemed to make the entire train expand , somehow. I highly doubt one human who had spontaneously thrown up blue flames could ever be capable of that, but the timing of it all seemed to match up. The whole train car split down the middle and widened until it would have been impossible to fit inside the tunnel, though that didn't seem to impact it at all. The floor looked all the same, but where the door and walls had split there was only a sickening distortion like someone had stretched it with an editing software. The ceiling had gone through the most dramatic change, now opened up to reveal a mess of gears and machinery that shrieked and sparked against itself; all lit up in blue. The flames I spewed flashed into place in the center of it all, now taking the form of a whole gang of ten boys, all still dancing circles around me.

One boy gave an absolute roar of a rallying cry, and the entire train just... Exploded into a mass of scrap metal. I don't know how I managed to get out of it all unharmed. The oddest thing about it wasn't even my survival or how I was still moving as if I was still on the train even while it was falling apart around me; it was how the world outside looked. Instead of seeing a dark tunnel scattered with sparking metal, I just saw pure pitch black. It was like the world hadn't yet formed around me and consisted of only me and these hooligan boys.

The next thing that I remember is coming to in a shopping cart at my usual station. The weight of those headphones was gone, but my ears still buzzed with noise. My head did as well, I was operating as if through a dream. Before I could move to pull myself up from the cart it was seized from behind, and I was helpless to resist my being pushed all around the station. I at least still had my briefcase—I was clutching it for dear life at this point—while on my chaotic ride. I didn't even have to look behind me to know who was pushing me. I could hear their whooping and jeering echoing all along the station. I flew along the tunnels at a dizzying pace, the blue light of these creature-boys flashing around me all the while through. There was one pair that I noticed seemed to dance around each other quite a lot, colliding in the air before me and sending off showers of blue sparks. At one point I could have sworn that one exploded into a puff of flame shaped like a heart... Well. I certainly hope it wasn't directed towards me!

They pushed me clean through the gate to leave the station. I'm past questioning why I got out unharmed or how no one came running to investigate the noise of my cart crashing past. I just wanted to know where they were taking me. We zipped through the back roads, where no one could possibly witness this chaos. I remember trying to jump out on multiple occasions—often helped by the chaotic steering of whoever or whatever was pushing me—to no avail. Everything from here is a sort of blur. I remember faces; more young men laughing in my face and running circles around my prison in the cart. If they were still singing that song, I wouldn't be able to tell you… My whole mind was just a mess of noise. 

I vaguely remember coming to a stop at the arcade near my station. They tipped me out of the cart quite rudely—and directly into the closed door! I braced myself for impact, but… it never came. The door swung open just ahead of me before I could hit it and I instead collided with a short but solid body. This one said… Something along the lines of "Follow me" and dragged me into the arcade. It was all lit up as if it were the middle of the day; cabinets lighting up with noise and flashing in our wake. I was surrounded by the time we stopped. They had cornered me in front of a claw game full of stuffed animals, each of them cheering and begging me to win them one from their respective places at the other machines. 

"If you think for a second that I'd be willing to spend a penny for you rascals, you're sorely mistaken!" I scolded. They just laughed harder, all their voices overlapping until I could barely make out a word. The short one who had dragged me into the arcade raised a hand and they all stopped; he must be their leader. 

"Money won't be an issue, mister," he said, and then he pointed to the bag I still had clutched in my arms. "Look inside." 

I didn't trust any of these boys as far as I could throw them—and I'm not nearly as strong as I used to be—so I kept my eye on them all as I reached into my bag. I half suspected this was some kind of trick until my hand closed around an unfamiliar weight. 

"Go on, sir! Take it out and give your wallet a good whack!" The leader's eyes unsettled me as he spoke. They gleamed with a deep, bright blue light that didn't come from any of the arcade machines; it seemed to come from inside his body. The others' eyes shone too but it was more of a reflection; all their gazes trained on the leader whose stare pierced right through me. 

I was hesitant to follow his suggestion until I felt the heft of whatever they had put in my bag. It was dense and solid, vaguely long. Perhaps I could use it as a weapon if push came to shove. I took it out with the express intention of this only to find… A microphone. What was I supposed to do with that? Instead of the laughing and jeering that I expected, I was only met with stares of nearly tangible anticipation. 

"If you’re nervous about taking out your wallet in front of us, just hit your bag!” their leader said. I had half a mind to just scold these boys and leave until I just… Couldn't. There was something in the gleam of his eyes that held me still. I knew I had no choice but to obey, so I raised the microphone up and brought it down on my bag as if it were a drum. 

It immediately swelled to near bursting with coins; so quickly that I heard the seams creaking. I nearly dropped it in my surprise. The other boys roundly started cheering for me and resumed their pleading for their plushies—why they couldn't just steal them on their own was beyond me—and I had no choice but to turn around and start playing. 

“Showtime!” their leader cheered as I loaded the first few coins in. At this point I’m really not sure if I was fully in control of myself. I remember thinking “How can I keep letting them do this? I’m not even being threatened into this, I should just leave!” only for my legs to refuse to move. I must have been in that arcade for hours winning toy after toy for this gang—what a strange ransom to demand from strangers—until I finally had full control of myself again. 

I turned around to give them the scolding they all deserved only to be met with the leader pointing a gun from one of the point-and-shoot games directly into my head. He fired it with a “Pow!” and suddenly I was in an empty parking lot somewhere underground. Every plushie that I had given to those brats was now cradled in my arms and overflowed to the floor, but I really couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to that because of what was in front of me.

Blocking the exit to this garage were five mascot costumes that I vaguely recognized as life-size versions of the plushies in my hands. How they got there to block my exit was beyond me; I was more unsettled by their presence by anything. There had to be people inside for these costumes to be even standing; were they in league with this boy gang? I remember my bag having to be refilled by that microphone wand multiple times while I was in the arcade and it was still heavy with coins now; could this all have been a ploy to rob me?

I had no time to think of an answer before I just… Dropped everything in my arms and started dancing. It was like before; I didn’t feel in control of my body at all. I thought perhaps I could just be finally starting to snap under the sheer absurdity of my situation until I tried to resist my own movement. Something pulled tight around my arm and in the opposite direction of my resistance. It didn’t stop pulling even when I let my arm go slack again; I nearly thought this force was going to tear my arm off! Thankfully it just resumed dragging me around in that oddly intense dance that it initially puppeteered me into doing just a second later, and I was helpless to resist. Unfortunately my endurance isn’t nearly what it used to be; whatever was controlling me only seemed to be working on my movements and I found myself growing exhausted within moments. The mascots were upon me by then, all dancing around me and getting closer and closer with every move. Soon the proximity grew crushing, and I blacked out yet again.

The next time I came to was back in the shopping cart, and we were stopped in an alley where the back street racers park all their bikes. The boys were all dancing in a ring around me, chanting something. Once they noticed I had woken up, there was a great shouting and they all scattered. I tried to sit up only to be pushed back down by that first boy I had seen on the train. He spun me around to face an area of the wall that was still somehow blank of any graffiti and then disappeared from view. Another boy took his place with his fingers lit up in blue sparks… Which boy this was, I can't say, I was far too dizzy to make anything out. He signed the wall with a rather strange word… Perhaps it's a new slang that the kids have come up with; I think it was… xikers? Whatever that means. Another boy was covering my eyes before I could process it fully.

His face appeared before me only a split second later, lit up in all directions by a carnival. This unsettled me deeply; not only was it still far too cold for any carnivals here, I didn’t recognize this one at all! It was all… Off. I’m sure I’ve been someplace similar, but this wasn’t it; not exactly. My blood started to curdle as this boy was telling me that “We like it like”... something. I couldn’t quite hear him over the blaring of the rides. I remember being on one—a merry-go-round that was going far too fast for my liking—but I have no memory of getting on or off. I only remember my legs feeling like jelly as I held on for dear life. At this point the boys’ lighter and that booming music from when this night began was permanently ingrained into my head; I hear it even now, actually. It still rang in my ears even after I was transported off the ride—I really don’t know how I did it—back onto solid ground. The microphone was back in my hand instead of the merry-go-round pole; now extended on a short stand. 

I don’t remember what I wanted to do with it. I just know that the boys were trying to wrestle it from my grip and that they weren’t supposed to have it. Still, an entire ten against one is hardly a fair match, so I was struggling quite a bit. Amid their pushing each other for a hold and shouting words I can’t recall into the receiver, I managed to shake them off with a strong swing—directly into an ATM next to me.

Like my bag, it exploded with riches. Bills flew every which way and I’m not above admitting I tried to catch a few. The boys seemed to have no interest in them, just dancing around me and taunting me about how they like to play their game. I couldn’t help but notice the first boy from the train and the boy who received him when he switched with the second were staying awfully close throughout all this… Well, it���s none of my business. I was more preoccupied with the chaos around me to care; the lights in this carnival all started to go dark all at once amid the flurry from the ATM. It’s not like they turned off—no, they just changed. 

Yet again I found myself surrounded in a deep ultra blue while the carnival just melted away from around me. It was like I was in the train again being pushed through the entire train without feeling any of the movement; illuminated only by the blue wisps of fire that I had since come to understand were the boys who had chosen to terrorize me. Now that there was no background noise to torment me I could hear their words more clearly; something about a strange and beautiful dokkaebi house. I was beyond confusion at this point; the things that these boys had subjected me to throughout the night could be nothing else but the work of a trickster spirit. I would have honestly believed that they had gone extinct since modern times, however this clearly proved me wrong. 

It was then that I noticed my arms felt much lighter than before. I checked my bag in a panic; everything was there. The coins that it had been overflowing with at the arcade were the only things missing along with the microphone and its stand. I'll be honest, I was glad to have them gone. I only worried for what it was about to be used for in the hands of the dokkaebi boy in front of me.

"When the bat hits, what will it become?" he asked me, twirling it about in my face. I didn't have the slightest clue what "it" he could be referring to; I just hoped it wasn't me. I was then surrounded by echoing cheers of "Tell me what you want" and "tell me what you need". Were they asking me? All I wanted or needed was a way out of here, seriously… 

I must have said it out loud; for the boy then smiled at me and beat the microphone against the ground. 

In a puff of blue smoke, my tormentors disappeared and were replaced by a sleek, red Ferrari in front of me. My surroundings were pitch black; that car was the only thing remotely illuminated. Finally, my way out! At the time I didn't think to question why I was given such a gaudy ride out, nor did I wonder why I suddenly had the keys to such an expensive car just lying there in my pocket. In hindsight, I really should have. 

Once I opened the door, the chaos that I assumed had ended began again. I entered in blessed silence and just took a moment to breathe, to take in what I thought was my escape. I had grown so accustomed to the booming music that had been beating my ears since the train ride that I had almost forgotten what peace sounded like… I missed it. Perhaps if I had never turned the key, I could have just walked away and found my own way home. Unfortunately I was so tired that all I wanted to do was enjoy a comfortable ride home. 

The music blasted through the speakers as soon as the engine turned over. I was so startled that I stamped down on the gas instead of the brake; never mind that I hadn't even shifted the car into gear yet. That didn't seem to matter to it; the parking brake released and it slammed itself into gear without my hands even leaving the steering wheel. Speaking of the wheel I could hardly get a grip on it; any direction that I was able to pull it in was the result of all my strength and as a result had no real control whatsoever. On and on in furious circles I swerved until I was certain that I would be sick again—perhaps if I was any younger I would have found this fun, but as it is I've grown out of that phase quite thoroughly. It's a miracle that I didn't crash in all the darkness that still surrounded me. All I could see past the windshield was headlights glowing ahead of me—though I occasionally caught flashes of shapes in their beam before the car swerved away again. I did everything I could to stop; slamming the brakes, pulling up the emergency brake, even removing the key from the ignition; all to no avail. I got to the point where all I could do was beg and cry for someone to come stop me, for my captors to have mercy, anything! 

No such solace came.

The next thing I remember was waking up in an empty lot all the way across the city with a pounding headache, surrounded by burned-out tire marks and an entire supply closet's worth of brooms. I still had all my belongings—though my phone was long dead—and as far as I can tell my physical condition was fine save for some fatigue. They hadn't even taken any of my money; everything that had been spent at the arcade came from that mysterious magical microphone. Thankfully I was able to regain my bearings without too much struggle—this was near where I used to attend university—and I made my way straight to this place to give my statement. It's a wonder you lot are still open that late—or early—given how secluded your building is. Well, it's none of my business, I'm just glad I was able to give my statement. Surely the police would have me detained and tested for lunacy. I wouldn't blame them; even now I can still hear that song echoing in my mind… 

"Shanti, Shanti, ya-ya-ya, Shanti, ya-ya-ya," over and over again. Perhaps I should just get some rest.

Minjae

Statement ends. 

Well! It sounds like this Kim Gyuguk-ssi had a fun night! Honestly, I would be more inclined to chalk this up to a bad trip from some shady drugs that the boy on the train gave him that he's just in denial of—if it weren't for the corroborating evidence that Hunter was able to dig up for me. While digging through transit status updates for March 30th—last night, actually—he found a "strange disturbance" on the last train of the night. Security officers at the time reported what looked and sounded to be an explosion followed by a significant delay in the train's arrival, however when it did get to the final station it was perfectly intact—with no passengers. 

He also managed to get his hands on the security footage from that empty lot that Gyuguk-ssi woke up in. There was indeed an unexplained outage early this morning for nearly an hour, only for the cameras to come back on with a clear view of him lying unconscious in the middle of the lot; indeed surrounded by unexplained tire tracks and a large arrangement of old brooms scattered all around him.

During my own research—actually it was during my commute to work here—I did pass by the arcade that Gyuguk-ssi mentioned. The staff were gathered around having a heated discussion with each other; it turns out there was some kind of break in—even though there was no evidence of tampering—and one of their claw machines was stocked full of coins but no prizes. Those had all been found in a pile in the parking lot along with the mascots they use for children's parties. Seems like an awful coincidence…

Well, all the research that can be done on this subject has been done; Junmin suggested that we let Gyuguk-ssi get a little rest before we contact him again. All the better for me, maybe I can ask my boss to let me off early. Kim Hongjoong is no slouch, but he knows it's useless to hold people when there's no work to be finished. 

Maybe then my friends and I can welcome another guest to our house~

Recording ends.

[Click]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

August 17, 2023 (Thursday)

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

Philip Stephens of Financial Times today pointed out how much global politics has changed since 2016. That was the year of Brexit and Trump, when those calling for national sovereignty and iron-bound borders seemed to have the upper hand, and it seemed we were entering a new era in which nations would hunker down and international cooperation was a thing of the past.

But now, just seven years later, international cooperation is evident everywhere. Stephens pointed out that a series of crises have shown that nations cannot work alone. Migrants fleeing the war in Syria in 2015 made it clear that countries must cooperate to manage national borders. Then Covid showed that we must manage health across political boundaries, and then Russia’s invasion of Ukraine proved that European nations—and other countries on other continents—must stand together militarily in their common defense. 

That embrace of cooperation is in no small part thanks to President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Antony Blinken, who have focused on bringing together international coalitions.

The new global stance is on display in the U.S. right now as President Biden hosts the first-ever trilateral summit with Prime Minister Fumio Kishida of Japan and President Yoon Suk Yeol of South Korea. This is not an easy meeting—Japan and South Korea have a long history of conflict—but they are working to mend fences* to stand firm against North Korea, including its missile tests, and to present a united front in the face of Chinese power. 

Secretary Blinken noted for reporters on Tuesday that the world is currently being tested by geopolitical competition, climate change, Russia’s war of aggression against Ukraine, and nuclear aggressions. “Our heightened engagement is part of our broader efforts to revitalize, to strengthen, to knit together our alliances and partnerships—and in this case, to help realize a shared vision of an Indo-Pacific that is free and open, prosperous, secure, resilient, and connected,” he said. “And what we mean by that is a region where countries are free to chart their own path and to find their own partners, where problems are dealt with openly, where rules are reached transparently and applied fairly, and where goods, ideas, and people can flow lawfully and freely.”

Cooperation between Japan and South Korea “helps us promote peace and stability and furthers our commitment to the complete denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula. It advances our shared values and helps uphold principles of the UN Charter like sovereignty, independence, territorial integrity. It allows us to even more expand opportunity and prosperity.”

Blinken addressed Ukraine’s resistance to the Russian invasion, backed by an international coalition, and reiterated that Ukrainians are upholding “the basic principles—sovereignty, territorial integrity, independence—that are vital to maintaining international peace and security.”

In squeezing Russia, international cooperation has again been vital. The Swiss corporation Société Internationale de Télécommunications Aéronautiqes (SITA), which is responsible for booking, flight messaging, baggage tracking, and other airline applications, announced in May that it will leave Russia this autumn. Russian carriers are scrambling. 

Blinken also confirmed that the Biden administration last week achieved a deal with Iran over U.S. prisoners. Iran moved four dual citizens from the infamous Evin Prison to house arrest, and the U.S. is working to get them, along with one more who was already under house arrest, home. In exchange, the U.S. will release several Iranian prisoners along with $6 billion of Iranian oil revenue currently held in South Korea.

Several Republicans have opposed that deal. The senior Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, James E. Risch of Idaho, said that the “unfreezing” of funds “incentivizes hostage taking & provides a windfall for regime aggression,” and Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR) called the money “ransom” and said it was a “craven act of appeasement.” 

But in an op-ed on the national security website Defense One, Ryan Costello, the policy director for the National Iranian American Council, called the deal a win-win. The Iranian money will be released to Qatar, which will release it for purchases of food and medicine, which are not sanctioned. Medicine is desperately needed in Iran, and as Biden said in 2020: “Whatever our profound differences with the Iranian government, we should support the Iranian people.”

In his remarks to reporters on Tuesday, Blinken defended the administration's withdrawal from Afghanistan almost exactly two years ago, saying the decision to withdraw was “incredibly difficult” but correct. “We ended America’s longest war,” he said. “For the first time in 20 years, we don’t have another generation of young Americans going to fight and die in Afghanistan. And in turn, that has enabled us to even more effectively meet the many challenges of our time, from great power competition to the many transnational issues that we’re dealing with that are affecting the lives of our people and people around the world.”

He noted that the U.S. continues to be the leading donor of humanitarian assistance to Afghanistan, contributing about $1.9 billion since 2021, and that the U.S. continues to work to hold the Taliban accountable for the rights of women and girls. 

In Niger, a key U.S. ally in Africa against terrorism, military forces took power from the democratically elected president on July 26, and now the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS), a regional union of fifteen countries, has said it will intervene militarily if diplomatic efforts to restore President Mohamed Bazoum to power fail. Army chiefs met today in Ghana to discuss creating a standby force. Nigeria’s chief of defense staff, General Christopher Gwabin Musa, told the meeting: “The focus of our gathering is not simply to react to events, but to proactively chart a course that results in peace and promote[s] stability." 

Blinken said Tuesday that the U.S. strongly supports the efforts of ECOWAS to restore Niger’s constitutional order, but the African Union apparently opposes intervention out of concern that such intervention might trigger a civil war.

Meanwhile, in Sudan, where the Biden administration hoped working with two rival generals would pressure them to restore civilian democracy, the country has been torn apart as those two generals now vie for power. Days ago, the U.S. government warned of corruption and human rights violations in South Sudan, with one of the rival military forces, the Rapid Support Forces, apparently engaging in widespread targeted killing and sexual violence in the western Sudan region of Darfur.

Yesterday, the State Department called for the two factions to stop fighting. “Every day this senseless conflict continues, more innocent civilians are killed, wounded, and left without homes, food, or livelihoods. The parties must end the bloodshed. There is no acceptable military solution to this conflict,” it said. 

—

*The expression “mending fences” appears to come from U.S. Senator John Sherman (R-OH), who in 1879 told reporters he had to go home to take care of his farm (including mending his fences) when everyone had a pretty shrewd idea he was trying to repair political relationships to shore up support, hoping for a presidential nomination. (It didn’t work: his chief manager was Representative James A. Garfield (R-OH), who ended up getting the nomination himself.)

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[eyeswaitingfortuesdaynight]

omniscient reader's viewpoint liveblog day 3 💪 (chs. 7-11: ep. 2 - protagonist)

reading this on the subway train as the author intended. YJH INTRO TIME LET'S GOOOOOOO

the korean government must have scrambled those jets quickly!!!!! too bad it's monster food now

'It was my turn to be a clown.' - it's always your turn to be a clown, kdj

i genuinely don't think anyone else survived the train other than kdj's group and yjh. between culling everyone who made a fuss at first and the difficulty of deciding to take a life and acting on that decision.......1/30-50 probably isn't an unrealisitic number of survivors

lgy is truly the 10yo kdj stand in ........i feel so bad for the kid. i hope kdj can learn to love him as much as sys

i know there's at least two sponsorship selections....possibly a third one after the 7th scenario to account for the new incarnations, and maybe a fourth after the 10th scenario to account for the new incarnations that showed promise later? that makes the most sense to me

WHO WAS YSA'S SECOND POTENTIAL SPONSOR??? aughhhh i wanna knooooow

'I felt uncomfortable and excluded this guy.' - LOOOOOOOL oh god damn that's harsh. i'm sure kdj was nicer about it in the webtoon

does.....does uriel sponsor evil incarnations so she can force them to be nice? that is. so fucking funny. i love her.

the star stream trolling sp by giving him weak modifiers is also hilarious

i gotta say, kdj is great at dropping foreshadowing...takes like 100 chapters for the way of being strong without a constellation hint to come to fruition

if twsa had a fandom, there would 1000% be diehard yjh/lhs shippers by the way kdj describes lhs

it's actually Mino Soft in the novel???? nope. rejected. bad vibes, not as funny. not changing this now

lhs is also a reader......i love him...........also i need to take this into account in the future and contrast him with the other mentioned readers (kdj, ysa, hsy)

'Indeed, Confucianism was still strong in South Korea.' - KDJ AND HIS THOUGHT PROCESS IS INFURIATING AND HEARTBREAKING AUUUUGH. he can't understand why people would want to check up on his parents other than confucianism......

yjh doing his best to recreate the shining is never not funny. does he do this every turn????

i'd be curious to know the percentage of incarantions that survived the 1st scenario without killing a human. 1/100 maybe?

kdj is surprised by yjh's high strength this early...i wonder if that's FORESHADOWING.......

3 or 4 skills per beginner attribute is probably average, judging by lhs' profile and kdj's own attribute to skill ratio

kdj has a good way of describing the scene in as few words as possible (specifically, this description of the broken bridge). broad brushstrokes, as it were. i need to remember that.

'I was a bit surprised.' - also noting that kdj has started minimizing the description of his own emotions....he's probably feeling less overall tbh, with the 4th wall

...i guess demonic heads get reformed since i distinctly remember kdj describing knw's corpse as 'just a torso' earlier in this episode. pretty sure that was reflected in the webtoon too

'This couldn't be the exclusive skill of Han Myungoh, who had a big belly.' - this guy is as skinny as a rake in the webtoon WHERE IS HIS BELLYYYY

kdj is controlling his breathing again....but also telling himself to calm down .........it really is a habit

it took less than 5 minutes for kdj to get epically betrayed and abandoned lol

bookmark!!!! i wonder what the max level of understanding is.....

'Despite him being a hated figure, I couldn't help feeling strange emotions.' - 👀👀👀👀 interesting kdj states this when knw's last words were 'Don't want to die'

yjh just destroying zombies barehanded is. so great.

'The man destroyed all the demonic people threatening me and appeared in front of me. An overwhelming force without any weapons. He beat the demonic people with only two fists.' - YJH LITERALLY DESTROYED ALL THE ZOMBIES ON THE BRIDGE BAREHANDED I'M SIMPING SO HARD *swoons*

'His personality had worn out after going through regression three times. His principles were cut away in order to maintain his sense of self. The current Yoo Joonghyuk would never hesitate for the sake of his purpose.' - see, this is a much more nuanced and empathetic description than 'lost his humanity' in the webtoon translation. like killing people for your own purposes is not just as human a thing to do as choosing to save other people. it always struck me as a particularly harsh way to word yjh's personality change, esp. when yjh is kdj's blorbo and kdj knows how yjh got to this point.....i think the webtoon in general tries to flatten kdj's low and high points to make him more plateable for a wider audience, which i noticed when comparing scenes side by side for my fic. which is exactly why i prefer reading the source material of stories over any adaptation - things get lost in the medium translation even with the best adaptations.

kdj specifically calls yjh a professional gamer. which is good because i literally can't see yjh streaming to any audience pre-scenarios except maybe for contract-mandated team streams. he can't perform on command and doesn't give a shit about entertaining anyone except maybe his family. bad karoke aside lol

'I liked, hated, grumbled, and cheered Yoo Joonghyuk on. That's why I stuck with Yoo Joonghyuk for over 3,000 chapters.' - translation of this line in the webtoon is a bit more flowery, but i like this barebones description. it's charming how utiltarian kdj is with everything he describes, truly a reader to the core

'Yet Kim Namwoon died and the others survived.' - huh. i guess yjh saw them through the window....but shouldn't they have seen him through the window when he was kicking down the door? maybe he shattered the window after his first kick and made it hard to see through, especially if the window has wire mesh

'I started telling the story. I told the story using as much concise, short, and accurate vocabulary as possible.' - yup, that's how kdj tells stories. at least he's honest about this.

'His eyes changed and memories that seemed to belong to Yoo Joonghyuk crossed my mind.' - kdj get images along with people's thoughts if they're remembering something??? that's fascinating. tho it would be absolutely hilarious if this was a mousou telepathy situation (fic idea??)

'Due to the impact of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, I could feel Yoo Joonghyuk's mental pain and suffering.' - kdj gets feelings too ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and yjh is feeling bad about killing everyone in his car even on his 3rd turn AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

'I have never seen a protagonist as careful as Yoo Joonghyuk.' - i'm simping too, kdj

augh reminder to myself to backtrack in proofreader and standardize the lie detection messages - the epub isn't consistent with the format of them. gonna have to check if the webtoon is consistent or not

like how kdj never says he's a seer and lets yjh completely misunderstand. peak trickster behaviour

yjh.... bringing himself to allow another seer to be his companion after the 2nd scenario.........repeating the word in his head...................i'm tearing up, i'm not even kidding rn

'Now Yoo Joonghyuk's face was as difficult as a philosophy book with no commentary written.' - i see kdj failed philosophy, just like me

'Yoo Joonghyuk was smiling brightly like something made him happy. Son of a bitch.' - W E E P I N G YJH IS HAPPY HE HAS A COMPANION THAT UNDERSTANDS HIM AND CAN HELP HIM i'm i'm 😭😭😭😭😭

'…Damn, I have to use that method after all.' - such a good cliffhanger ahhhhhh